The Documented Dilemma of Lovino Vargas
by ShowMeTheStarsIn221B
Summary: Lovino has never been good at feelings, and a certain Spanish bastard isn't helping matters. However, when a variety of clueless lovebirds, a bottle of cursed hair gel and the Secret Ship Club get involved, all sense of a normal teen romance gets thrown out the window. Gakuen AU, with side pairings USUK, PruAus / AusSwiss, / PruCan, SuFin, PoLiet, DenNor, GiriPan, GerIta.
1. Chapter 1

Lovino was jerked out of his light sleep with a sharp tug. He bolted upright, then moaned as bright lights popped in front of his tired eyes. He inwardly cursed his caffeine-hyped roommate for deciding to play a scary movie at top volume last night, leaving Lovino to yell obscenities from his room that the stupid hamburger eater probably couldn't hear.  
A chuckle interrupted him from his thoughts, and he whipped around angrily to face whoever it was who had the nerve to _play with his hair _while he was dozing.  
"Ah, Lovi! You're awake!"  
"What is it, tomato bastard?" Cursed Lovino, pushing the overly friendly Spaniard roughly away. "And _don't _call me Lovi!"  
Antonio pouted, his green eyes sparkling. "Aww, but Lovi sounds so cute! Just like you!" He started playing with Lovino's hair again, completely oblivious to the Italian's mounting rage.  
"You BASTARD!" Yelled Lovino, causing Antonio back away, still chuckling, "You can go take a running jump offa this roof for all I care of your _cute!_ Cute my ass, and I'm _not _talking about a _figlio di puttana _Donkey, and I'm sure you know where to stick that! You can eat that bastard Arthur's food for eternity while I laugh in your face and pelt you with your beloved tomatoes you little piece of _Merda! _GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OUT OF MY HAIR!"  
Lovino jumped out of bed and backed the Spaniard out into the hallway, face pressed threateningly close to his. However, Lovino soon noticed that Antonio wasn't staring at his face...  
"Nice boxers Lovi!" Antonio said approvingly, pointing to the pattern of tomatoes adorning Lovino's lower half.  
"GET THE _CAZZO _OUT OF MY ROOM!"  
The door slammed, and Lovino leant against it, panting. He could feel his face turning bright red, and inwardly slapped himself. Why did he always get so embarrassed around Antonio? The attractive Spaniard was annoying enough at the best of times...  
The sound of knocking resonated through the door as Antonio's plaintive voice resonated through the woodwork.  
"Lovi-"  
"Call me that again and I'll castrate you." Lovino growled.  
"School is about to start~" he could _hear _that stupid smile "I'll see you in class, Lovi!"

TO THE SHIP CLUB

_Send message To Elizaveta_  
**Did you get the footage from earlier?**

_Send Message To Kiku_  
**OMG YES. Eduard worked out how to hook up the CCTV to his laptop, so no more sneaking into Staff Only for us! BUT OMG SO ADORABLE. DID YOU GET GOOD PICTURES?**

_Send Message To Elizaveta_  
**Yes I did. This pairing is really kicking off, is it not? Lovino is still bright red.**

_Send message To Kiku_  
**Wonderful! ^_^ I'll get Eduard to put them up on the blog later. OMG is he? I bet Toni likes that ;)**

_Send Message To Elizaveta_  
**I am looking forward to seeing what he will say to him later. Class is about to start, so I will see you then.**

_Compose message To Kiku_  
**Good! I'll just get the others to start packi**

Elizaveta looked up from her phone as the sound of footsteps approached the door of the Secret Ship Club. She looked around, taking in the frozen faces of those around her, most of them sitting at computers with bunches of tissues held to their noses.  
"Somebody's coming!" She hissed. "You know the drill! Quickly!"  
The room jumped into action, stowing away laptops, deleting internet history and slipping sheaf's of paper inside exercise books. Tino rubbed all the diagrams and complicated triangles off the board, while Lili covered the wall filled with photos of their classmates with pictures of boats as Heracles brought in the boat models and placed them on the desk. Elizaveta stood by the door, frying pan at the ready in case the intruder saw anything he shouldn't.

The door creaked slowly open and the unsuspecting victim walked through the doorway, rubbing his eyes and yawning.

"I'm sorry I'm late Eliza-"  
"Its Alfred!"

_Bongggggg_

"Ow!" Yelped the stranger, clutching his head and pushing his glasses back up his nose. "What was that for? Its just me!"

"Who are you and why are you pretending to be Alfred?" Demanded Elizaveta, brandishing her frying pan, ready for another swing. The blonde haired boy cowered, hands over his head.

"I'm Matthew! You know, Canada! I've been part of the ship club for ages! I write fanfictions!"

Elizaveta slowly lowered the pan and squinted at him. "Oh! Sorry Matthew, forgot about you for a moment there."

"...Yeah well..." Matthew shrugged, and switched on a PC. "I just came to say, you might be interested about what my brother is saying to Arthur right now,"

Elizaveta rushed over to the computer, looking at Matthew expectantly. He logged into the computer and swivelled his chair so he was facing the club and muttered something about: "of course they see me _now."_  
"Well? Are you going to tell us?" Lili asked as she went about covering the rest of the students on the wall.  
"Kiku's on the job. I think they're somewhere near the World Economics class. And you guys really should be heading to wherever you're meant to be, right?"  
"Right," Elizaveta turned to the club and ordered them to head to their classes.  
Elizaveta was sure the teacher wouldn't mind if she and Kiku talked about the current relationship between Alfred and Arthur.

_A/N_  
_This fanfic is written by TWO people. Myself, ShowMeTheStarsIn221B (Stars) and my friend I Like The Alphabet (Alphabet) _**(I CAN WRITE FOR MYSELF THANK YOU)**_, so apologies if you notice a dramatic change between writing styles, but still, have fun guessing who is writing which scene ;)_  
_Oh, and I'm in italics and Alphabet is in _**bold. **_Apparently they reflect our writing styles. Whoever guesses who wrote which scene gets a tomato! Hehehe~_  
_We decided to include ALL OUR PAIRINGS, which mostly work. However, I'm a Ausswiss Shipper while- _  
**I REFER TO IT AS EDELWEISS. Now, I ship PruAus (am I right, totally adorable?) (not *shudders* Edelweiss)**  
_Please don't diss the perfectness that is EDELWIESS_  
**Excuse me while I laugh**  
_But anyway, we have an AGREEMENT REMEMBER? I let you do PruAus if you let me do Edelweiss and PruCan. So we will have a lot of ship wars before we reach the conclusion ;)_  
**We also made a deal that I could have more PruAus if you could have PruCan so nyeah.**  
_NEW CONVERSATION STARTING NOW. _  
_The title. Now this fic has had about 3 titles, the original one was "Spamano Ship Club" but Alphabet changed it to "The Adventures of Lovio and Antonio's tush". (Spelling mistake intentional)So that's its REAL title :D_  
**Idk what happened to make that our title. Oh, Stars wrote Lovio instead of Lovino and I took a liking to it and then we went with the fanon of Antonio having a nice tush so yeah :) It was amazing**  
_And then I wrote LOVIONO. I am the lord of typos!_  
_Can you PLEASE learn to use FULL STOPS? Honestly, you tease me enough about my punctuation..._  
_This fic was inspired by random bits of text conversation, fan art, other fanfiction and randomness :p Pretty much we read a bunch of Gakuen and said to each other; "My kingdom for a perfect fic." "Well why don't we write our own?" And our beloved Spamano was born ^_^ _**Basically the languages are swear words and we have many side pairings :) **  
_Pretty much. Enjoy!_


	2. Chapter 2

Lovino scowled as Gilbert made his way into the classroom, his cocky grin making Lovino want to hit something. Gilbert directed his perverted smile at Roderich as he headed towards his seat. Roderich rolled his eyes and turned away as Lovino smirked. Thankfully, Roderich pointedly ignored it, turning back to his sheet music he was pouring over. Gilbert huffed and flopped down in his seat, facing away from Roderich, which was fortunate (or unfortunate, but Lovino could not care less either way) because the Austrian kept sending covert glances his way, as though disappointed at him giving up so easily. Lovino wasn't the only one to notice this exchange however. Roderich was being watched intently by none other than the xenophobic Swiss with a love for guns. Vash was pressing his pencil so hard to the page that the lead broke, and he hastily dug in his bag for a new one, a pink flush spreading over his face.

The teacher coughed and waited for the attention of the nations in the room. Once a satisfactory number of students faced him he began droning on about some stupid subject and Lovino allowed his mind to wander. His face flushed a bright red as he remembered the events of the morning. He desperately hoped that Antonio had not told anyone about it but as Gilbert turned around and smirked at him, Lovino knew that he and his boxers were not to be kept a secret.

A note found its way onto Lovino's desk, and he opened it to find Gilbert's obnoxious scrawl saying: _Nice boxers, tomato. Kesesesese ;)_  
Lovino flared up and directed a particularly harsh glare at Gilbert before loudly saying "Who the _fuck _writes a laugh like that?"  
His outburst earned a few giggles and he went even redder as the teacher gave him a stern look. Lovino grumbled to himself, scaring the poor nation next to him.  
He hated this class.

.**LUNCH TIME**

Lovino stormed over to his normal spot to eat lunch, right under the massive old tree that shaded the remote area at the edge of the school. He was satisfied to see that nobody else had claimed it, and settled down defiantly, glaring at anyone who came close.  
He just wanted to be alone. He'd already had enough embarrassment for one day. Damn that tomato bastard to hell. What did he have to go telling that totally un-awesome Potato eater about this morning for?

Lovino scowled and attacked the pasta his brother had made for him viciously with his fork. Curse them all.

_Whumpf!_  
_"Bastard!"_  
Lovino had dropped the delicious pasta on the ground as he was startled to see no other than Antonio's upside down head grinning at him from where he was hanging from the tree branch by his knees. That stupid _idiota _had flopped down right from the tree right next to him, scaring him to death!  
No, he wasn't scared. No way. Not Lovino Vargas.  
"Hey Lovi! Were you scared?" Asked Antonio, swinging on the branch with his hands linked behind his head. He winked at Lovino, who found himself blushing.  
_What are you doing you dumbass? Stop it right now!_  
_"_Of course not tomato bastard!" Said Lovino, full of fake bravado, turning his head away so Antonio wouldn't see his red face. "I'm never scared."  
However, Antonio wasn't listening. He was looking in another direction, and unlinked his hands and waved enthusiastically, calling; "Hey _Amigos! _Over here!"  
Stupidly, Lovino turned to see who it was. He leaped up out of his seat and ran around the tree, before pressing his back against it.  
"SHIT ITS FRANCIS! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO GO CALLING THEM OVER FOR!?"  
A laugh sounded through the grounds as Francis approached Antonio and Lovino knew that he had been informed about the events of the morning. Damn it, why was Antonio telling _everyone_? Lovino focused on keeping his blush from turning even redder. Francis was suddenly in front of Lovino and he swore as the Frenchman wrapped his arms around him, winking.  
"Lovino, you should let me see your boxers too..." Francis let his hand trail down, purring softly. In the brief moment before Lovino realised that Francis was getting dangerously close to him, he wondered what kind of creepy pervert would purr at someone.  
"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME, YOU FRENCH _FIGLIO DI PUTTANA!_" Lovino shouted as he wrestled himself away from Francis' grip, running to the other side of the tree where a loud thump could be heard as Antonio landed sprawled out on the grass with Gilbert cackling next to him.  
"Too bad Francis. Lovino's boxers are only for Toni." Commented Gilbert slyly, coming up to Lovino and clapping a hand on his shoulder. Lovino shoved the two of them away forcefully, eyes shooting daggers at the imposing nations. However, he was distracted from the torrent of Italian rage that was about to flow from his mouth by the sight of Francis 'helping' Antonio to his feet. Francis had purposefully yanked up Antonio with far too much force causing the Spaniard to crash into them. With the skill of a well-practised professional, Francis caught Antonio and kissed him on the cheek with a flourish, one hand squeezing Antonio's arse. Lovino felt his cheeks heat up again and a green-eyed monster filled with jealous rage rampaged through his stomach and Lovino did the first thing that came to his mind. He grabbed one of the tomatoes in his lunchbox and threw it at Francis. Francis shrieked and leapt away from Antonio, trying desperately to brush the tomato juice from his hair before he was hit by another.  
"AHH NO NOT MY SEXY 'AIR!" Francis screeched, trying to bat the tomatoes out of the air. Lovino was advancing on him, tomato in each hand.  
"Don't you _dare," _He growled as he pelted another tomato at the unlucky Francis, "Try that again you perverted piece of _cazzo._" The sound of tomato hitting flesh sounded once more as he advanced.  
"Nooo Lovi I'm sorry, I didn't mean to touch your boyfriend!" This did _not _get the effect Francis desired. Much to Gilbert's amusement, Lovino's face turned as red as his missiles, and he started pelting them at Francis with an alarming rate.  
"_HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND YOU BASTARD!"_  
Francis ran off with Gilbert, hands over their heads as their signature laughter rang out through the school yard.  
Lovino took a deep breath and chucked his last tomato at the ground, cursing. He then proceeded to stomp over to Antonio, and pulled him roughly to his feet, dusting him down. He stopped in mid stroke, suddenly realising what he was doing. Flustered, he shoved his hands in his pockets and turned away.  
"Hey um... Lovi," Antonio said cautiously, which was weird. Lovino refused to turn around until his red face had turned back to normal. No doubt the Spaniard would tease him endlessly.  
"What is it bastard?" Lovino asked roughly.  
"I just wanted to say... Thank you for that," Antonio said softly, and before Lovino could react he was slipping his arms around Lovino's waist from behind, and holding him in some sort of hug. Lovino shut his eyes tight as he felt Antonio rest his chin on his shoulder, his soft hair tickling the nape of his neck...  
_Don't turn around don't turn around don't turn around_  
_"_Oh Lovi, you're all red! Just like a cute little tomato-"  
That was the last straw. Lovino whipped around, tomato in hand.  
"TOMATO THIS! AND DON'T CALL ME _LOVI!"_  
The bright red tomato (the exact shade of Lovino's cheeks)Smashed into Antonio's face with satisfying accuracy. (Where Lovino gets all these tomatoes from, I don't know...) He then turned and ran; deciding wholeheartedly that he had enough of perverted teenagers for the rest of his fucking life.

Unfortunately the Ship club did not agree. They had just watched the entire scene on Eduard's laptop, and were getting really excited.  
"Did you see that hug Antonio gave him?" Lili squealed, clapping her hands in excitement. "I think he really cares about him."  
"But I'm getting worried about Lovino's denial," Fretted Tino. The little Finnish boy was replaying the scene where Lovino's anger showed up on his face in places like when Francis called Antonio "His boyfriend".  
"But don't you act like that when Berwald calls you 'His Wife'?" Asked Elizaveta, tipping her head on one side, watching the pink blush that spread over Tino's cheeks.  
"Thats... Thats... I'm not his wife!" Tino said despairingly, knowing that it was hopeless. Everyone was awwing and winking at him. He knew that most of them shipped him and the Swedish boy, but this was a ship club after all. He had become used to glimpsing photos of him and Berwald in places where he was _sure _there was no camera... Kiku was just freaky that way. Tino sighed, and turned his attention to where Kiku was drawing a complicated diagram.  
"If you see here," He said, pointing a ruler at the drawings he had made of the Austrian, Prussian and Swiss flag, "We have a rather complicated situation going on. We have reason to believe that both Gilbert-san and Vash-san have an attraction towards Roderich-san. However, we do not know if Roderich-san shares this... affection."  
A small gasp was heard from the other end of the room, but nobody turned around to see who it is. "Gilbert... likes Roddy?" Said a small voice which nobody heard.  
"I suggest we monitor all movement in their dormitories from now on," Continued Kiku.  
"Don't we have Roderich's dorm hooked up already?" Piped up the shy Lithuanian student, Toris. "Because he shares with Arthur?"  
"Yes, good point Toris-san." Acknowledged Kiku. "But we have to keep to our motto; We watch, but we do not interfere."  
"That sounds horrendously cheesy," Commented Matthew.  
"Hey Kiku! You have some like, totally fabulous photos on this camera!" The ship club turned around to see Feliks, the cross dressing Polish boy, lounging on the couch with his feet up, flicking through Kiku's camera.  
"Please be careful Feliks-san," said Kiku anxiously.  
"Yeah, I'll be fine!" Said Feliks, tossing the camera from hand to hand, despite the Japanese student's distressed gaze. "I've totally gotta upload these! They are brilliant!"  
"Thank you," Said Kiku. He pleaded with Toris silently, trying to get the message through. Thankfully, Toris understood.  
"Feliks, would you give the camera here for a moment?" Asked Toris, coming over and placing a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder.  
"Yeah, sure," Said Feliks, tossing the camera over to Toris, who fumbled for a second before regaining his grip. He then removed the SD card, flipped it back to Feliks and handed the camera over to Kiku.  
"Aww, Toris! What did you do that for?"  
Toris just smiled and let himself be dragged onto the couch.

**A/N: **_Thank you SO much to all you awesome people who have followed and favourited... I must confess I flipped out when I saw the emails because nothing like that had ever happened to me with my other fic... but I suppose that has a more narrow audience than this one. Now because Alphabet and I first wrote this up on a google doc, we have a lot of jokes and spazzes in the comments and chat bar we feel compelled to share with you ;) Just 'cause. Oh, and I apologise for our extremely crappy attempt at Kiku's japanese. _  
**So, Stars was the first one to write the lunch scene and she decided that the tree would cover **_**half the school grounds.**_** So it was either an enormous tree or the school had really small grounds. (I still don't understand why on earth the tree would be so big) **_Because big trees are epic. I want a massive tree at my school. _**Well, it still makes me laugh. And then what was the thing about his (Francis's) sexy hair? It pops out every time? **_Haha yes! We commented on it so it's highlighted orange, so every time we scroll past it jumps out at us: "AH NO NOT MY SEXY 'AIR!"_  
_And then Alphabet was writing Francis kissing Antonio on the cheek... Except google docs is really slow and I was viewing it at half the pace she was writing... AND IT CAME UP AS FRANCIS KISSED ANTONIO. I ACTUALLY DIED. WHAT IS THIS._  
**And if anyone was worrying, Prussia **_**does **_**in fact have a flag. Because Stars was writing the Ship Club and didn't know, so she wrote GERMAN. **_(Shut up! Shut up!)_** THE GERMAN FLAG. BECAUSE NOW WE SHIP GERAUS TOO. **_Wow, Roddy is one popular guy! ;)_  
_'m signing off now. Remember to review! _**(if you want to) **_Ciao!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

Lovino slammed the door behind him and scowled as Alfred merrily greeted him. Lovino swore, Alfred always got in these moods after talking to Arthur and _Cristo _was he annoying. Even after Lovino muttered an angry "hello", Alfred stared at him with expectant eyes.  
"Dio, what do you want?"  
"Aren't you going to ask me about my day?"  
"Piss off."

Collapsing on his bed, Lovino zoned out as Alfred began rapidly talking in that stupid voice of his, the main subject being Arthur and their shared World History class. At some point in his incredibly boring chatter about his day and how Arthur had agreed to be his partner in some stupid project, Alfred had grabbed his laptop. Alfred started laughing and Lovino was reminded of how obnoxious the other boy sounded.

"So, Enough about me and my epic love life, what about you and Toni?"

"WHAT!" Lovino choked on his mouthful of pizza, a fountain of curse words trying to erupt from his indignant mouth. "There is _nothing _going on! Why- Who- you _bastard."_

"So there _is _something going on?" Alfred asked snidely.

"NO! No of course there isn't!" Lovino denied furiously, "Why does everyone think that?"

But Alfred didn't seem to be listening, he was too interested in whatever had come up on the screen of his obnoxiously large laptop. Everything about the American was obnoxious, Lovino decided.

""Dude!" Said Alfred enthusiastically. "Feliks posted some photos on Facebook."

"Fuck if I care."  
"Dude, like, you might wanna check these out."  
Lovino dragged himself over to Alfred's bed and glared at the laptop. His eyes grew wide and his face went red.  
"WHAT THE FUCK?"  
"Really, Lovino, I had no idea that anyone wore boxers like that."  
"Oh suck my balls, stupid bastardo."  
"Dude, you totally have smoke coming out of your ears!"  
Snatching the laptop out of Alfred's hands, Lovino looked through more of the photos, getting angrier as each one appeared.  
"Who the FUCK TOOK THESE MADRE CAZZO PHOTOS. ANTONIO'S A PERVERTITO. CRISTO, I WILL MURDER HIM." Lovino turned to Alfred and grinned in a manner that caused Alfred to shrink away, "Bastardo pomodoro non vedrà arrivare. Feliks, anche. Che diavolo ci faceva prendere quelle foto? Si può succhiare le palle, i pervertiti maledetti."  
Alfred blinked, "Uh, dude, English please?"  
Lovino rubbed his hands together and Alfred whimpered slightly, "Yes, yes, the stupid tomato bastard won't see it coming. It's all his fault and what the hell was Feliks doing taking photos? I'll get that maledetto potato eater too."  
"Bro, the hamburgers are calling me. I gotta go." Alfred sidled out the door, walking away quickly as Lovino started cackling.  
"And calm down with the maniac laughter!" Yelled Alfred from a safe distance. "It's really cramping your style!"  
"I'll get you next you bastard!" Yelled Lovino. He was about to start plotting revenge on the offending couple, when the facebook icon caught his eye.  
**Alfred 'America's Hero' F Jones and 10 others commented on an album you are tagged in.**  
Intrigued despite himself, Lovino clicked on the icon and sat back nervously for it to load. To his horror, not only had Feliks uploaded about 10 photos of him and Antonio, _(not blushing I am so not blushing) _but what seemed like half the school had commented on them. Shaking with rage, Lovino started scrolling through them, getting more and more furious by the minute.  
**Feliks 'Fabulous Poland' Łukasiewicz uploaded 10 photos with **_**Lovino 'Romano bitches' Vargas **_**and **_**Antonio 'Spain, King of the Turtles' Carriedo**_  
**Alfred 'America's Hero' F Jones and 195 others like this**  
**See all comments**

**Toris 'Lithuania' Lorinaitis**  
Feliks! When I gave you that SD card I didn't mean for you to post them on Facebook...  
**Feliks 'Fabulous Poland'Łukasiewicz and Kiku Honda likes this**

**Feliks 'Fabulous Poland' Łukasiewicz**  
But they were like, totally too good not too! Don't be angry honey ;)  
**Elizaveta 'Hungary' Héderváry likes this**

**Toris 'Lithuania' Lorinaitis**  
*Sigh* Fine. I guess it's too late anyway.

**Elizaveta 'Hungary' Héderváry **  
I just cannot get over how cute these pictures are :D  
**Feliks 'Fabulous Poland' Łukasiewicz and 4 others like this**

**Francis 'France, the country of l'amour' Bonnefoy**  
Ohonhonhon~ So this is what happened after my rapid exit? Why did I ever leave! We could've had so much fun together mes chéris...  
**Gilbert 'Prussia is awesome' Beilschimdt likes this**

**Arthur ' Britannia Angel' Kirkland**  
I'd hate to know what goes on inside your sick head, you frog.  
**Alfred 'America's Hero' F Jones, Elizaveta 'Hungary' Héderváry and 8 others like this**

**Francis 'France, the country of l'amour' Bonnefoy**  
I'm sure you have had similar thoughts. But perhaps about somebody else... ;)  
**Gilbert 'Prussia is awesome' Beilschimdt Matthew 'I love Maple syrup' Williams, Elizaveta 'Hungary' Héderváry and 13 others like this**

**Arthur 'Britannia Angel' Kirkland**  
What...? I don't know what on Earth you mean.  
**Francis 'France, the country of l'amour' Bonnefoy likes this**

**Alfred 'America's Hero' F Jones**  
4 realz get a lyf dude! y u such a perv all da time, jst lay off!  
**Feliks 'Fabulous Poland' Łukasiewicz, Tino 'Finnish flower' Vainamoinen and 17 others like this**

**Arthur 'Britannia Angel' Kirkland**  
Thanks a bunch, you bloody git.

**Alfred 'America's Hero' F Jones**  
:O OMFG I DIDNT MEAN U! u wud nvr do anything like that.  
**Arthur 'Britannia Angel' Kirkland, Elizaveta 'Hungary' Héderváry and 5 others like this**

**Francis 'France, the country of l'amour' Bonnefoy**  
*Rubs hands together* Ohonhonhon~ I sense something in the air...!"  
**Kiku 'Japan' Honda, Elizaveta 'Hungary' Héderváry and 8 others like this**

**Arthur 'Britannia Angel' Kirkland**  
Why are you always such a damn wanker! Thats it, I'm logging off now. I've had enough of you imbeciles.  
**Lukas 'Don't mess with the Norway' Bondavik and 2 others like this**

**Alfred 'America's Hero' F Jones**  
NOOOOOOO ARTIE DONT GO!  
**Tino 'Finnish flower' Vainamoinen and Kiku 'Japan' Honda like this**

**Arthur 'Britannia Angel' Kirkland**  
And correct your grammar. It's making me sick.  
**Lukas 'Don't mess with the Norway' Bondavik, Roderich 'Austria plays Piano' Edelstein, Vash 'Switzy has big guns' Zwingili and 76 other this**

**Vash 'Switzy has big guns' Zwingili **  
OK. Whoever hacked into my account and changed my name had better start running.  
**Gilbert 'Prussia is awesome' Beilschimdt likes this**

**Alfred 'America's Hero' F Jones**  
Look brah, I'm sorry. Is this any better? BTW are we still on for the WH project?  
**Roderich 'Austria plays Piano' Edelstein and Arthur 'Britannia Angel' Kirkland like this**

**Alfred 'America's Hero' F Jones**  
OH CRAP NOT AGAIN I WASNT TALKING 2 U VASH PLZ DONT KILL ME  
**Arthur 'Britannia Angel' Kirkland, Gilbert 'Prussia is awesome' Beilschimdt and 42 others like this**

**Arthur 'Britannia Angel' Kirkland**  
We were last time I checked.  
**Alfred 'America's Hero' F Jones likes this**

**Alfred 'America's Hero' F Jones**  
Totes sweet dude! TTYL, cya in class! LOL

**Arthur 'Britannia Angel' Kirkland**  
LOL? Isn't that... Lots of love?  
**Elizaveta 'Hungary' Héderváry, Lili 'Lichtenstein' Zwingili and 4 others like this**

**Alfred 'America's Hero' F Jones**  
Da fuck! NOOOO, course not! y wud i say a thing like that? its means laugh out loud! just that!  
**Gilbert 'Prussia is awesome' Beilschimdt, Mathias 'Denmark's da Bomb!' Kohler and 7 others like this**

**Romulus 'Rome' Vargas**  
I hate to interrupt this sexual tension filled conversation, but I'll just warn you that my grandson is most probably not going to be very happy when he finds out about these photos. However, I am very proud of him and wish him all the best for his sex life later on. _Feliks, _would you mind sending me a copy of these pictures?  
**Feliks 'Fabulous Poland' Łukasiewicz and 3 others like this**

**Feliks 'Fabulous Poland' Łukasiewicz**  
Uh... Ok then Mr Vargas! Will do.  
**Romulus 'Rome' Vargas likes this**

**Feliciano 'Italy loves pasta' Vargas**  
Ve~ I'm so happy for mio fratello!  
**Romulus 'Rome' Vargas, Ludwig 'Germany' Beilschimdt and 23 others like this**

**Antonio 'Spain, king of the Turtles' Carriedo**  
Where did you get all these pictures from! But I can't deny, Lovi looks so cuuuute... *sigh* :(  
**Feliciano 'Italy loves pasta' Vargas and 45 others like this**

**Feliciano 'Italy loves pasta' Vargas**  
Why do you sigh Toni? Surely you are happy in your relationship? I would've expected Lovino to tell me though :(  
**Antonio 'Spain, king of the Turtles' Carriedo and 2 others like this**

**Antonio 'Spain, King of the Turtles' Carriedo**  
What! I think this is all a big misunderstanding... We aren't actually IN relationship.

**Feliciano 'Italy loves pasta' Vargas**  
What!? Why not? You like him don't you?  
**Francis 'France, the country of l'amour' Bonnefoy and 12 others like th**

**Antonio 'Spain, King of the Turtles' Carriedo**  
... Well he obviously doesn't like me.  
**Gilbert 'Prussia is awesome' Beilschimdt and 3 others like this**

**Alfred 'America's Hero' F Jones**  
Dude! tht totes not tru! he told me that he lykd u! legit! XD  
**Antonio 'Spain, King of the Turtles' Carriedo, Feliciano 'Italy loves pasta' Vargas and 46 others like this**

**Antonio 'Spain, King of the Turtles' Carriedo**  
Really! Did he! But why didn't Lovi say that in the first place?  
**Kiku 'Japan' Honda, Alfred 'America's Hero' F Jones and 13 others like this**

**Kiku 'Japan' Honda**  
Alfred, what did Lovino actually say?  
**Arthur 'Britannia Angel' Kirkland, Yao 'FLUFFY China' Wang, Matthew 'I love maple syrup' Williams and 50 others like this**

**Alfred 'America's Hero' F Jones**  
"There is nothing going on!" (add in lots of swearing and shitz and thats preeetty much rite) we all kno wut he means by that! :D  
**Gilbert 'Prussia is awesome' Beilschimdt, Feliciano 'Italy loves pasta' Vargas and 69 others like this**

Lovino stared, dumbstruck at the screen of his laptop. Most of the photos were of him in his boxers, with Antonio playing with his hair, or staring in a downwards direction, Antonio hugging him from behind, them standing uncomfortably close with their faces pushed up close together. In a certain light, the anger which was shown clearly on his face might have been mistaken for lust...

Lovino felt his face burning as he read the comments. He almost threw the laptop across the room when he read his Grandpa's comment. It didn't help that he was also his World History teacher.

But _Antonio..._ He put his head in his hands as he stared at what Antonio had written. He had sounded so _sad_ and almost wistful... So very out of character. What had brought that on? Of course he thinks that Lovino doesn't like him, not in _that way,_

_Or any way at all,_ said a snide voice in the back of Lovino's head. He pushed it away.

_But surely Antonio doesn't like me ba-_

Lovino suddenly jerked out of his stupor and banged his head on the table. "What am I thinking!" He yelled to himself. "What is wrong with my fucking head!"

His gaze was caught once again by the laptop screen, and his rage rose in him once more. He bent over the keyboard and his fingers flew across the keys, bashing on them like they had insulted him personally.

**Lovino 'Romano Bitches' Vargas**  
I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL! GO TO HELL YOU BASTARDS! I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO FEELINGS FOR ANTONIO WHATSOEVER AND IF YOU FUCKING POKE YOUR UGLY NOSES INTO MY BUSINESS AGAIN I WILL PERSONALLY BE ORGANISING ALL YOUR MURDERS WITH THE MAFIA! THATS GOES FOR YOU TOO, PERVERTED, DESPICABLE, OBNOXIOUS, HAPPY-GO-LUCKY TOMATO FUCKING BASTARD! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!

Lovino shut the lid of his laptop, panting hard. He wanted to scream at the sky, stamp his feet and punch something, but instead he just curled up into a ball on the floor, hands forming fists in his hair and eyes burning.

_I don't know anymore, _he thought to himself, rocking back and forth. _I just don't know. _

He stayed like that for a long while, but soon the idea that Alfred is likely to return soon made him get shakily to his feet, only so he could stagger towards his bed and throw himself down onto the covers. He repeatedly banged his head against the pillow, until realising that it wasn't helping in any way. In a fit of rage and frustration, he flung the pillow at the opposite wall for; "being fucking useless."  
After about an hour and a half of constant cursing and beating up the furniture, Lovino finally resolved to get to sleep. _Maybe I'll wake up and this will all be just a dream, _he thought hopefully. _Maybe I would go back to my normal life before it got turned upside down. Maybe I would stop seeing Antonio's face every time I close my eyes, with his sparkling green eyes, his floppy dark hair and his easy going, charming smile. _  
Lovino rolled over violently again, mentally slapping himself. _Stop thinking about him you damn bastard! You want nothing to do with him anymore, remember?_  
_Nothing at all._  
_Nothing at all._  
_Nothing at all..._  
Lovino finally drifted off to sleep, images of the sunny Antonio drifting through his uneasy dreams.

_A/N: Ciao guys, Stars here! First up, thanks SO much for all you lovely people who followed, favourited and reviewed! You made our week :)_  
_Here comes my inner Alfred!_  
_"Reviews? Dude, I'm totally coming over there to hug you! REEEEEEEEVIIIIIIEEEEWSSSSSS!" *Faceplant*_  
***sighs* Sealand's a bit excited then :) (kesesesese)**  
_Shut it Norway. I'm not Sealand and you know it. Stupid quiz... Oh yeah haha… When I was writing Arthur telling Alfred that his grammar made him sick, I wrote the wrong ITS. Alphabet had a field day! Oh and LOL used to mean Lots Of Love. My parents got so confused when I started using i!t XD Well, I hope the accidental bit of angsty!Romano wasn't too hardcore... This was just supposed a fluffy, funny, lighthearted fic.. I guess I just got a bit carried away ;) But it IS Romano after all. (Note to Self, NEVER write in facebook format again.) Urgh.. It killed me. Still, I hope you liked it!_  
**Seriously, the facebook thing looked awful to write. *shudders* Especially Alfred. But I was incredibly surprised at the angsty!Romano :) (Romano's rage is actually really hard though. Why.**_ It's funny, why is it easier for me and not you?)_** So there was a whole thing in Italian there (thank you, Google Translate. I don't know how trustworthy you are) and basically Romano was saying that he was going to murder Feliks and Toni (it was them, right?) **_I'm pretty sure..._  
**Oh, and next chapter is fantastic btw. Gilly totally knows how to seduce people. **_ . EVER. We'll just leave you hanging with that ;) Bye! xoxox_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Ciao guys, Stars here! Now, normally Alphabet is against A/N's at the start of a new chapter _**(I still am...)**_, but this one was required. Because unfortunately, If you are like Alphabet here _**(Hush, music snob)**_, you wouldn't be able to understand the next part, or enjoy it to its full extent. _**(I still don't understand it) **_Shut it woefully ignorant person. _**('Scuse you)**  
_As Alphabet pointed out, I am a Muso! ^_^ My instruments are the Piano (like Roddy!) And the Oboe. Now, if you don't know what an Oboe is, SEARCH IT UP. It's the most beautiful, badass instrument ever ;) And it is NOT, REPEAT NOT a Clarinet. They sound completely different. The Oboe has a double reed, Making it WAY harder to play, it's register is a few octaves higher, and it has a clearer sound that can be heard above all the rest (if you know what it is)._  
ANYWAY. Music terms for the woefully ignorant. **(Again? Why must you refer to us this way?**_ Because thats what you are. I highly recommend learning an instrument in some point of your life._**)**  
_Legato- Italian for Smooth, a musical term to indicate that the passage of music should be played smoothly._  
_Piano- (p) A dynamic marking indicating that the passage of music should be played quietly_  
_Crescendo- () A dynamic marking that indicates that the music is getting louder_  
_Forte- (f) A dynamic marking indicating that the passage of music should be played loudly_  
_Harmonies- Two threads of music that complement one another_  
_Those are entirely my own definitions, so I apologise if they don't make much sense! Now enjoy reading chapter 4!_

* * *

Storming into the music classroom, Lovino flipped off the group of girls and boys who laughed as he walked past, clearly amused by the pictures of him and Antonio. He blushed and cursed the rumour mill, clearly everyone had gotten the wrong idea.  
"Oi, Lovino!"  
Groaning, Lovino moved so he was facing Gilbert, "What do you want, damn potato eater?"  
"The awesome me has decided to give you some advice."  
"On what, un-awesome bastard?"  
Gilbert grinned, shrugged off the insult and rested his arm on Lovino's shoulder, "Love!"  
"Like you could tell me anything, you can't even outshine a piano."* Lovino scoffed, smirking as Gilbert struggled for words.  
"You can talk," Gilbert poked his tongue out as Lovino scowled, "Let the awesome Prussian show you how it's done."  
Gilbert strutted over to the piano Roderich was sitting at and slammed his hands on the lid of the grand piano, making Roderich jolt at the sudden noise. He then opened his mouth to start speaking, a gleam in his red eyes. Lovino instinctively put his hand over his eyes.  
"Hey Roddy, baby, my name is Legato. D'you know why? 'Cause I'm smooth~"  
Roderich stared at Gilbert and across the room Vash snapped to attention and readied his water gun.  
"Excuse me?!"  
"Your voice is piano when you talk, but I bet I can make you crescendo to a forte in bed, baby." Gilbert smirked as Roderich went pink, "What do you say you and I go into a practice room and work on some harmonies together?"  
Lovino cringed as Roderich's eyes grew wide and his mouth opened and closed, "What?"  
Gilbert winked, "I've heard pianists do it with ten-OW."  
Roderich began thanking Vash for hitting Gilbert and ceasing his mortifying pick up lines but became increasingly flustered as the Swiss boy went red, so he settled for a polite nod.  
"We should be friends again." Vash mumbled, nervously fiddling with his gun.  
"Y-yes, that would be nice."  
Roderich looked at the piano and with a start he began frantically checking to see whether Gilbert inflicted any damage, not hearing Vash quietly state that he would like to be more than friends. Gilbert walked back to Lovino and bowed, with one hand pressed to the back of his head, attempting to numb the pain that Vash caused.  
"That went awesomely."  
"Idiot."

* * *

Meanwhile, Antonio was also being ambushed by a member of the Bad Touch Trio. It was a strange day, Antonio reflected, when two thirds of their infamous group decided to give the other advice on... Well, what the Bad Touch Trio do best. Francis had cornered Antonio before class, and was insisting that the only way to win "Mon cher Lovi's" heart was through ways of physical attraction. "And we can't possibly hope to achieve that by the clothes you have on right now, mon ami," The Frenchman insisted.  
Francis looped his arm through Antonio's and waved off Antonio's protest about wagging class.  
"Nothing is as important as fashion."  
"Francis, we can't just leave!"  
Tugging on his arm insistently, Francis dragged Antonio off the school grounds and in the direction of the shops.

Once there, Francis shoved items of clothing at Antonio, before forcing him into a changing room. Antonio locked the changing room door, but he doubted that would stop Francis. He could only hope that a pretty shop assistant distracted him while Antonio was changing.  
"Francis, can we go now? We've spent nearly a whole day shopping."  
"Oui, oui," Francis blew a kiss at the shop assistant and began walking with Antonio, "We only 'ave one class left, what is the point of hurrying?"  
"Why did you even bring me here?"  
"Mon ami, are you deaf? You will win the heart of dear Lovino with your séduisant body."  
Antonio sighed, "You saw the Facebook post, didn't you?"  
"All hope is not lost." Francis said mysteriously, waving away the look Antonio gave him.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so, we don't own those wonderful pick-up lines we stole them from a musicalpickuplines tumblr :)**  
**So this was an awesome chapter to write. PRUAUS FOREVER. **_Yeah, you can kinda tell who wrote this chapter... ;)_  
_Now, no promises for new updates, I'm going to Aussie for a week in a few days, so not much would be written... We will try to get chapter 5 up tomorrow (key word, TRY) So make sure you give Alphabet lots of encouragement and love because she will be writing solo :)  
_**THIS WAS WHERE THE FLOW TOOK ME WHEN WRITING THE PRUAUS:  
****Vash blinked back tears as his beloved as Gilbert stared at Roderich with those beautiful red eyes. Vash heaved a sigh and cursed Roderich and his gorgeous face.  
**_Yeah, she actually wrote that people. Heh heh heh :P  
_**It was amazing. The flow ships PruSwiss. **_This story is no longer under our control... o_O  
__Sweet! Ciao~!_


	5. Chapter 5

Lovino grimaced and stepped into the only lecture hall on the school grounds, bracing himself for the usual bear hug that his grandfather greeted him with.  
"Lovi! I knew you'd come to visit me~"  
Lovino flinched away from the hug, "This is my fucking class."  
"Don't be that way, Lovi!" Mr Vargas pulled away from Lovino and wiped his eyes.  
Shoving his grandfather, Lovino headed towards his seat at the back of the room, glaring at anyone who caught his eye. The rest of the class trickled in and Lovino wished that the day would hurry up and end. He rested his head on his arms and only looked up when he heard Alfred enter the room, walking up to sit next to Lovino while he called Arthur over.  
"Yo Lovino! You sorted it out with Antonio yet?" Alfred wiggled his eyebrows and laughed when Lovino attempted to hit him. Arthur nodded at Lovino, sitting next to Alfred before pulling the finger at Francis who was making lewd gestures which were clearly about Arthur and Alfred. Looking at Lovino quizzically after he swore, Alfred followed Lovino's line of sight and grinned when he saw that Antonio had entered the room. He nudged Arthur who rolled his eyes, cheeks going pink at the contact. Lovino scowled. They were so obvious.  
Alfred suddenly did a double take, and stared at Antonio, his expression on his face somewhere between the urge to laugh and the urge to burst into confused tears.  
"DUDE. What the FUCK is Toni _wearing?"_  
Arthur turned around, and he too noticed Antonio's attire. His eyes widened, but he didn't look so fazed.  
"Don't be so scandalised Alfred," He said lazily. "I used to wear things like that when I was in my punk faze."  
Alfred now switched his stupid expression so it was staring at the British boy. "_You? _Wearing_ that? _His eyes roved over Arthur, as if he was trying to picture him in anything other than his normal attire. He then looked up, grinning like a loon. "Man, I totally wanna see that! I bet you looked super-hot!"  
Then followed an awkward silence, in which Arthur tried to hide his blushing face, and failed miserably. However, Alfred was too caught up in his fantasies to notice if he had said anything wrong.  
"Can you wear them one day Artie? Pleeease, for me?" Alfred scooted over to the furiously mortified boy, wrapped his arms around him and flashed him his best puppy dog eyes.  
"Get off me you bloody git," Muttered Arthur, pushing the overly attached American away. "My pants are nothing of your concern."  
Unfortunately, Lovino did not entirely take in this exchange between his roommate and the Student Council President, because his mind was completely blank and filled with a strange buzzing noise. His gaze was fixed on Antonio below, because the fucking tomato bastard had just walked in wearing _incredibly tight leather pants._  
The first thought which was heard through the static of Lovino's brain was; _How can he even move in those things?_ Honestly, they were so fucking tight it could drive a boy crazy... Why is he so Goddamn-  
_STOP IT RIGHT THERE LOVINO!_

Lovino did a delayed double take and convinced himself that he was just thinking that his pants were _awful _and it couldn't be healthy for anyone to have their blood circulation cut off in such a manner. _Not that I care, _Lovino grumbled internally, _I'm just worried about a classmate, but the tomato bastard is so stupid he probably bought them a size too small. Idiot._

Lovino resolved on keeping an eye on Antonio and those tight pants because if the idiot was to faint from bad blood circulation or something stupid, then Lovino didn't want anything bad to happen. He was being a stupid teenager with hormonal problems.  
Nevertheless, he couldn't stop himself staring at Antonio's pants. Damn, he was just so _fine. _Why had he never noticed how fine the Spaniard's tush was? _Mamma mia, _is was positively a crime against nature.  
Lovino mentally slapped himself. Angrily, he reminded himself that this was _Antonio _he was thinking about. The tomato bastard. The one who constantly makes his life hell.  
Suddenly, Antonio turned around and met Lovino's gaze, his green eyes boring into Lovino's bronze ones. To Lovino's surprise, he winked, and turned around hastily, whispering frantically to Francis, who responded in an enthusiastic manner.  
The image of Antonio's wink was burned into Lovino's brain, and he sat bolt upright, frozen to the chair. Lovino's mind raced and he questioned what the fuck that wink meant. He mentally slapped himself (he was doing that a lot lately) and continued to keep an eye on the Spaniard and his dangerous pants.  
"Looooooovinoooo. Lovino. VARGAS. BRO. ARE YOU ALIVE?"  
Smacking away the hand that Alfred was waving in front of his face and internally cursed as he felt his face heat up, _again._  
"What?"  
Alfred laughed obnoxiously, "Dude you were totally drooling!"  
"Was fucking not."  
Lovino glared murderously at Alfred as he clapped him on the back and said, "Of course you weren't, dude."

* * *

After the lecture, various members of the ship club sprinted towards the meeting room, all crashing into one another outside the door. One Heracles had successfully removed the screeching cat from Kiku's hair, they all started talking at once, fast, loud and with many energetic gestures.  
"Did you see that!?"  
"I do believe I did. Most intriguing."  
"My brother had to keep poking him half the time, he was too busy staring at Antonio!"  
"He might of been asleep of course... I was asleep in half of that lecture. Kiku makes a nice pillow.""Man, he was like, totally checking out Antonio's hipster tush! I told you putting those fabulous photos on Facebook would pay off!"  
"I still can't believe you did that though. And _please _don't tell me you were checking out some other guy..."  
"TORIS! How can you say such a thing!? You're like, totally the cutest thing ever. Why would I ever stare at anyone else? But OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG,"  
"What is going on here?"  
The ship club froze, hands in mid flap, mouths half open. A large, imposing figure stood in the doorway, hands on his hips, glaring down at them.  
Elizaveta stepped forward, hands behind her back, trying to conceal the frying pan she had whipped out from its hiding place in her skirts.  
"Oh, Mr Vargas," She said brightly. "Uh... How much of that conversation did you actually hear?"  
Mr Vargas leaned down with a conspiratorial smile, eyes glinting. "Oh, all of it of course! And I must say," He said, beckoning them forward, "I noticed my darling Lovi actually _salivating _in the back row!"  
Everyones eyes lit up, contemplating this new information.  
"No way." Breathed Elizaveta. "That is just BRILLIANT. Did you see anything else?"  
Mr Vargas tapped the side of his nose and winked. "Oh, I saw all sorts of stuff. I always know what my darling Lovi is thinking, and believe me, his thoughts were not on the lecture I was giving!" He thought for a moment. "Actually, neither were mine. SO if you have any problems with the test next week, feel free to complain to the school drop box where your letters shall be dutifully ignored." The students looked at each other, then down at the crap notes they had all half heartedly taken. But Mr Vargas was already halfway down the corridor, belting out a love song at the top of his lugs, opera style.  
"_And I~ will allllwaaays looooove youuuuu~"_  
Matthew open the door and backed inside slowly, trying to drown out the terrifying sound of his teacher _singing. _To make matters worse, Feliks and Tino had _joined in._ Matthew had just clapped his hands over his ears and turned around to seek shelter when he collided with something large and muscled. He let his eyes travel upwards slowly, afraid of what he might see. To his horror, he found himself staring into a pair of dark red eyes, which seemed to be laughing at him as he sprung away.  
"_Very _interesting collection of things you have in here Birdie," Gilbert said, staring appreciatively of the photos the ship club had tacked up to the wall. Matthew blushed even more furiously as Gilbert used the nickname he had for his quiet roommate, and tried to stow some of the fanfiction he had written out of sight.  
"Gilbert! What- What are you doing here?" Stammered Matthew, clutching his bear. "And how did you get in?"  
"How do intruders normally get in, _mon ami?" _Came another unwelcome voice, and Matthew turned around hastily to see Francis lounging (with a rose in his hand) on the couch normally occupied by Feliks. Matthew tried to get the other inside, but unfortunately no one was paying any attention to him, _again._  
"In-tru-da window!"* Laughed Gilbert, slapping Matthew's back. Matthew desperately tried to withhold his urge to hug his fellow Whovian, an urge he felt every time someone made a reference to Doctor Who, though his urge to hug Gilbert spread far beyond his Whovian status. Francis stood dramatically and coughed to gather everyone's attention, ruffling Matthew's hair in a way that seemed more than friendly before addressing the ship club, who had all filed in at that moment.  
"As the country de l'amour, I think that my status as such should grant me instant access to a club such as this."  
"No."  
"But Elizaveta," Gilbert whined, "Francis and I are awesome! We need to be in this club!"  
Lifting the frying pan that was always within her reach, Elizaveta responded with a strong "No."  
Matthew coughed in an attempt to get everyone's attention and rolled his eyes when nobody faced him. He jumped when he heard Gilbert loudly demand the attention of the ship club, and when Gilbert said, "Oi, Mattie's got something to say.", Matthew was sure that the redness of his face would definitely make him noticeable.  
"U-um, I think that considering how close Gilbert and Francis are to Antonio, they would help with the information gathering." Matthew squeezed his bear and felt a rush of relief as the ship club began nodding.  
"See! Even Mattie agrees!"  
"Yes, I do believe that Matthew-san is correct. These two could be useful."Elizaveta waved her frying pan at Gilbert threateningly and said "If you step one _toe_ out of line, you're gone, you hear?"Francis winked and handed her a rose "The crystal is as clear as your eyes, psycho."

* * *

_A/N: Stars here. Sorry if we take a while to reply to your reviews, we decided to reply together because... Yeah :)_

**I AM DISGUSTED.**

_Don't mind Alphabet... History class today. Long story._

***something witty***

_Ahem. I'm going to Aussie tomorrow, so no more updates for a week :( Sorry guys.._

_Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Doctor Who is the best! Die hard Whovian hi-five. _**Seriously, she left me with the awkward Whovian quote hug thing and it was so unfair. HOW DOES PRUCAN WORK? **_STOP SETTING FIRE TO MY SHIP! _**I didn't though! I tried to write some! **_I suppose ;) Thanks for not killing it. _

_Ciao! :)_


	6. Chapter 6

With a gesture that indicated that Lukas should follow, Mathias crept into Berwald and Tino's room, glancing around to check they were safe. Once he realised they weren't about to be attacked by the small Finnish boy or the large and incredibly intimidating Berwald, Mathias gave up on trying to be quiet.

"Mathias. Why are we even here."  
Mathias looked at Lukas like he was stupid, "Because we're building a furniture robot."  
He spoke slowly and Lukas had to physically stop his hands from reaching that idiot Dane's tie.  
"I am aware. But why do we need their beds."  
"Because everyone knows that all Nordic furniture comes together to form a gigantic robot that will rule the world." Mathias bellowed, eyes glazing over with comical pride.  
Lukas smacked the back of his head none too lightly and rested against the wall which Tino had colourfully decorated, "That's not a proper reason."  
Mathias grabbed one side of Berwald's mattress and grinned at Lukas, "Who needs a proper reason? Now give me a hand."  
Lukas sighed and lazily held the other end of the mattress before questioning where they were going to hide these.  
"We'll deal with it later!"

Once again, Lovino found himself seeking the shelter of his dorm to try to deal with his traitorous head. Now that he was alone and free of questioning eyes, Alfred's obnoxious laughter and Antonio's horrendously tight... articles, he calmed down. He grabbed the blankets and duvets off his and Alfred's beds and threw them in a pile, preparing them for his fort, something he used to do when he had a tantrum when he was younger. Now he seeked the security of his childhood, and the innocence of the memories this scenario brought back.  
Lovino quickly assembled a makeshift fort, using the pegs he had stowed away in his desk for an occasion such as this. He had used Alfred's desk to help support his fort, reasoning that if he came before Lovino had taken it down, then Alfred could just piss off to Arthur's room. He roughly threw all the pillows in the middle of his fort and grumpily flopped on top of them.  
Quite a while after Lovino had established his fort (he had no idea how long it was. Time was not measured in the Fort of Rage), there was a series of knocks on the door.  
"Leave me alone. I'm a fort kind of mood." Lovino announced, warning his roommate to stay the hell away from him.  
"A fort?!" Lovino groaned as he realised it was _not _Alfred knocking on the door, "Can I join?"  
"Piss off, Antonio."  
"Please~" Lovino heard the door open and he grumbled murderously as Antonio poked his face through a gap between two blankets, "I love forts!"  
"I don't care." Lovino buried his face in a pillow (one more look at the goddamned Spaniard and his will was going to weaken) and stuck out his middle finger. He sneaked a peek when he thought Antonio had gone and felt his heart deflate in the most annoying way possible, but was not so pleasantly surprised when his legs were nearly crushed by an over-enthusiastic Antonio.  
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"  
Antonio wriggled up into the space next to Lovino, taking care not to hurt him more than possible. "Joining you, of course!"  
"But I don't want you to join me!" Protested Lovino weakly. There wasn't much room in the fort, so Antonio was pressed up against Lovino, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip. Lovino stared at his feet, not knowing where else to look.  
Antonio paid no attention to Lovino's statement, just proceeded to make himself more comfortable. Finally, he spoke, jerking Lovino out of his raging thoughts with a pleasant jolt.  
"Lovi, are you OK?"  
Lovino turned around to face Antonio's concerned face, scowling profoundly. "What kind of question is that, bastard?" His eyes locked with Antonio's and he felt his rage steadily melting away.  
Antonio quirked half a smile and raised his shoulders. "A reasonable one, I should think. You've been acting so weird lately,"  
"No I haven't!" Lovino broke in, and then scowled as Antonio raised his eyebrows.  
"Did I do something wrong? _Mi tomate_, I'm sorry, whatever it was!"  
Lovino laughed dryly. _Don't apologise, _he thought to himself. _It was just you being yourself. Nothing wrong with that. The only thing wrong is my damned heart!_  
Antonio took his silence as an invitation, and he laid his head on Lovino's shoulder, leaning against him in a casual way that made Lovino's heart dance the tarantella. "I saw the comment on Facebook," he said softly.  
Lovino flinched, remembering his episode of angst. He had never looked back on what he had said online in his fit of rage, and hadn't thought about how much it would've hurt Antonio. Now he felt ashamed, which was a completely new experience for him.  
"I'm- I'm sorry." Lovino forced it out, then realised that it sounded fake. "I mean, I didn't mean to hurt you," He continued, trying to sound more genuine, "I just got a bit-"  
"Carried away?" Antonio finished his sentence for him, and laughed softly. "That's my Lovi. So full of passion and emotion you just overflow and it splashes everyone who is nearby. But I think it's wonderful," he continued, still resting on Lovino, legs stretched out and tangling with the blankets which were the door to the fort. He kicked off his shoes and curled his toes inward towards the sole of his feet. Then his feet found Lovino's, and pressed against his arches, tangling their feet up in a gesture that didn't feel in any way lustful. It just felt nice, and made Lovino feel like he was a kid again, reading stories with his _fratello _in pillow forts such as this one.  
"I think it's wonderful, the way you can express yourself so easily, but sometimes you hide things away, you conceal it. You challenge people to accept you, and accept you they should, because you should be nobody but yourself." Antonio closed his eyes as his hand found Lovino's, and squeezed it gently. "But I can see another Lovino hiding away behind those beautiful eyes, one that cares for his little brother, that builds pillow forts when he feels insecure," Antonio laughed, "A Lovino that would be friends with someone like me." He shook his head, as though this idea was utterly insane. "You are so strong Lovi, I envy you so much."  
"_You _envy _me?" _Lovino laughed in disbelief, unable to grasp the concept that his lifestyle might be _enviable. "_You tomato bastard, don't say things that aren't true."  
"But-" Lovino put a finger to Antonio's lips, silencing his next comment.  
"No, it's you who is admirable. How do you manage to be so carefree and happy all the damn time? How can you be so sunny, so optimistic? You just breeze through life, making everyone feel loved as you go, charming us all with your enthusiasm. You just light up the world when you smile, and everyone feels compelled to smile back."  
"Except you," chuckled Antonio, nestling into Lovino's chest. Lovino still had his hand trapped in Antonio's fingers, but Antonio brought rested it on Lovino's neck and leant his cheek on their entwined fingers.  
"Yeah well," Agreed Lovino, looking down at the top of Antonio's head, noticing how his hair was splayed across his chest, and gently smoothed it down.  
"Maybe that's why I like you so much," said Antonio sleepily, voice half muffled by Lovino's shirt.  
"Why do you like me?" Asked Lovino, confused.  
The answer came very softly, a whisper of thought before the freedom of dreams set in.  
"Because you're _you."_

**A/N: **_Ciao everyone! Stars here, and I am back in business! Thanks to all you guys who wished me well on my trip to the land of Oz, it was great. So I hope you enjoyed this chapter, hopefully you are still alive after that amount of brain-meltingly cheesy fluff. I love fluff ^_^ and pillow forts. This is my headcanon, so don't diss! _  
**OKAY. So when Stars read the DenNor she decided that Norway was me. Totes bro. **_He is just like you. It is actually scary. _**I don't strangle people with their ties though. **_I can imagine you want to sometimes though. _**That I do. And then there is my complete LACK OF EMOTIONS. **_I swear, we are like polar opposites. She laughed at me when I cried during Doctor Who. Not. Cool. _**I mean, I understood crying at Les Mis, BUT YOU KNOW HOW DW ENDS. NO NEED FOR TEARS. **_BUT THAT JUST MAKES IT WORSE! _**I was amazed. How. How do you cry at fictional things. **_Well I am sure I have loads of readers on my side at the moment. I can't be the only one to get emotional when stuff happens in your fandoms. _**And I can't be the only one who doesn't cry! Siriusly, you guys. Why. **_*sigh* I'm too tired to argue. Bloody jet lag._  
_On that note, I'll be off! Ciao~!_


	7. Chapter 7

Kiku sighed as Heracles yawned again, his tiredness was becoming contagious and he was making it hard for Kiku to uphold his promise to the club. Alfred had told Kiku that he was having a study date with Arthur in the library, and as the vice president of the Ship Club, he was obliged to go and do a bit of spying on his friend.

"Kiku, can we take a nap break?"

"Of course not, Heracles-san," Kiku said, admonishing Heracles for such a thought, "We haven't even reached the library yet."

Heracles tilted his head to the side slightly, "If we're going to the library, then why are we outside Alfred's room?"

"I heard from Elizaveta that Antonio entered Lovino's room earlier, I wanted to see whether we could hear anything." he pressed his ear against the door and Heracles followed suit.

"I can't hear anything," Heracles whispered, tugging on Kiku's sleeve, Kiku flushing red at the contact, "Can we go to the library? I can sleep there."

Kiku stood up straight and attempted to calm himself down, even after years of being friends with Alfred, Kiku still got flustered at physical contact, "Yes, we should hurry."

The pair headed down towards the library, only encountering one obstacle in the form of Sadik who attempted to engage Heracles in an argument. The fight was only halted after Kiku persuaded the two into leaving each other alone with the promise of 'hanging out' with them.

After they had successfully evaded Sadik, Heracles spoke up, "I'm allowed to bring a cat, right?"

"Heracles-san, a cat would greatly impair our ability to gather intel on the state of Alfred and Arthur's relationship," Kiku held the door to the library open for Heracles and blinked a few times when he saw a strange bulge on Heracles' chest, "Heracles-san..."

"Yes, Kiku?" Heracles smiled suspiciously, keeping his back turned to Kiku.

"You brought a cat, didn't you?"

"Of course not!"

"I really would not advise bringing a ca-"

"I brought two!" Heracles spun around and held up two cats, both looking a bit disgruntled at their treatment.

"Why?" Kiku rubbed his forehead, an action he had seen Arthur perform many a time when Alfred said something.

"One for you, and one for me." Heracles smiled, clearly happy with his idea.

"Heracles-san, while I greatly appreciate the gesture, I do not think that the cats will help."

The Greek opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by the sound of Alfred's obnoxious laughter faintly making itself known. Kiku hurried towards the noise, being careful not to make his presence known when he neared the source.

"Kiku," Heracles whispered, resting a hand on Kiku's shoulder while his other arm cradled the cats, "I'm going to take a nap."

"I am afraid I must object, I require your aid in collecting this information."

Heracles grinned, "You're lying. You only want me here because I have a pretty face."

Kiku gaped at Heracles, unsure how to take such a claim, "O-of course that isn't the case! W-we were put together by Elizaveta."

Heracles squeezed Kiku's shoulder and spoke quietly, "I think we should focus on Alfred and Arthur." The pair hid behind a wall and Heracles comically cupped a hand around his ear so he could hear better.

"Dude! I totally cannot wait for the school trip!" Alfred said, sipping his drink loudly and dragging his chair around the table so he was sitting next to Arthur. Arthur nodded absently and typed something on his small laptop. Alfred leaned over and started 'helping' Arthur with enthusiastic suggestions that had nothing to do with the project.

Alfred spoke again a few minutes later, picking up his previous train of thought with excessive hand movements, "OMG though, Arthur I can't imagine you out in the wild. You're way too indoors-y for a civilisation trip. I mean: wilderness. You'd totally just take tea and be terrified of everything." Alfred puffed up his chest, "I would have to save you with my American strength."

"I'll have you know I can take care of myself!"

"What? With your Dumbledora spells? Nah, you need a heroic American like me to take care of you!"

Arthur snorted indignantly, "My magic is far more advanced than your super powers!"

"I am totally way more suited to saving than you."

"Lies."

Alfred pulled a face of mock horror, "How dare you!"

Arthur looked at Alfred's drink and said, "If you do not move that drink away from my laptop I will turn you into a frog."

Alfred stuck out his tongue as he pushed the drink to the other side of the table, "You'd probably turn me into a dragon instead."

"Piss off."

Arthur blushed in infuriation as Alfred started laughing, alerting the cranky librarian that he really could not stay quiet. Arthur told him to shut up, but Alfred just put on a bad British accent and mocked everything Arthur said. The librarian made his way over to the pair and looked at them sternly before saying, "I think it's time you two left."

Arthur flushed a humiliated pink as he and Alfred headed out of the library back to Arthur's dormitory and Kiku could still hear Alfred's voice crowing about how Arthur was taking tiny steps towards becoming a "badass".

Kiku turned and expected to see Heracles standing behind him, ready to follow the two nations and find out more. But Heracles was not standing. He was sitting at a table, his face resting against it as the two cats snuggled up to him. Kiku sighed and plopped himself down in a chair and pulled out a notebook so he could record the conversation. He knew that attempting to wake Heracles was useless.

.

Blinking lazily, Kiku yawned and lifted his head from the table and shook himself out of the comfort of a nap. He glanced at the clock and groaned when he saw the time. It was so late at night it was nearing the wee hours of the morning. He gently tapped Heracles on the shoulder and dragged himself out of the chair.

"We must return to our dormitories, Heracles-san," Heracles mumbled something incoherently and Kiku continued speaking, "But first we must check up on Antonio and Lovino."

"Yes, yes." Heracles stood up and the two headed for Lovino's room. Heracles stopped and wondered aloud, "Do you think Alfred has already gone back? Because that would put a dampener on anything Lovino and Antonio could be getting up to."

Kiku shook his head. "No, he went back to Arthur's dorm with him."

"Ah," said the Greek knowingly, walking off into the dark with his friend, side by side.

Lovino was lightly sleeping in Antonio's arms when the sound of voices drifted up to his ears. In his post dream state, he wasn't taking them in; the sound was merely a background noise that blended in with his surroundings.

However, if he was listening he would have been extremely angry.

"Kiku, why are we here again?"

"I told you Heracles-san, Elizaveta sent me a text telling me that I had to stop off here on my way back to observe what is happening here."

"But couldn't they just film it on the CCTV?"

"Apparently the amount of pillows in the room is blocking their view."

"I like pillows."

"You do?"

"They are nice and snuggly, like you and cats."

"…"

Antonio stirred in his position on Lovino's chest and murmured dreamily in Spanish. "Te deje de tirar los tomates a mí?" He shifted again, and opened his eyes slowly, taking in the darkness of his surroundings. He then noticed what (and more importantly, who) he had been sleeping on, and the events of last night suddenly came flooding back. Antonio chuckled slightly at the memory, and reached up hesitantly to brush a damp clump of hair off Lovi's face, marvelling as he did so at the rare look of perfect peace adorning Lovino's attractive features. This expression still remained when Lovi also opened his eyes, blinked sleepily and stared down at the Spaniard.

"Urgh… What time is it?

Antonio reached over the pillow fort to grab Lovino's bedside clock, which read 11.25 pm.

Lovino flopped back down to his original position and groaned. "Hey, why isn't the American idiot back yet?"

Antonio shrugged, and wrapped his arms around Lovino, nuzzling his nose into the base of his neck. Lovino pushed him sleepily away, with a casual; "Get off me bastard." Antonio paid him no attention.

"I suppose he's worked out a way to stay at Arthur's for the night." Lovino mumbled, still half asleep. "God knows how. That dumb-ass is as thick as one of his milkshakes with an extra ton of concrete added in for flavour."

"NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"

Suddenly there was a crashing noise outside as Alfred F. Jones tried to enter the room with a karate style kick at the door, ignoring the sign above the handle saying; **pull to open**. Completely unfazed by this, Alfred then progressed to yanking the door open, and stood in the doorway in a martial arts pose, baring his teeth until the door swung back and hit him from behind.

"Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition!" He repeated, switching on the light. "Our main weapons are surprise, fear- Dude, what's with all the pillows?"

"Get the fuck out of here bastard," Ordered Lovino grumpily. "Don't question my urge to build pillow forts."

"Dude, that's totally lame! Like, why did you have to steal all _my_ pillows?"

"If you don't like it, go and complain to Arthur. Isn't that where you've been?" Lovino was trying desperately to sound nonchalant while covering Antonio from head to toe with blankets. "Stay the fuck down or I will castrate you, bastard," he hissed to Antonio's enthusiastic smile. If Alfred discovered Antonio here… Lovino didn't want to think of the consequences. He could just imagine the next day's Facebook status; _rock out dude, i totes came bck 2 crash lst night when I legit found Lovi and Toni gettin all steamy under the blankets! Who knw that Lovi had a thing 4 pillow forts?_

"Well that's the thing," Alfred rambled on, "Arthur and I were having a totally awesome time at his dorm right, and I was just flicking through all his old records (Did you know he still had his old record player?!) When I found some records by these old dudes called _Monty Python. _For reals dude, these old things were the bomb! I was splitting my sides laughing just listening to them. But then Artie's cockblocking roomie Roddy complained about the noise and kicked me out. But seriously, those records had some seriously awesome shit. Who knew Artie was into punk rock and stuff? And I found some of his old outfits as well-"

"OK OK shut up!" Lovino had his hands over his ears, trying to drown out Alfred's full speed tide of information. "I'll give you some pillows, _capisce? _Just shut the fuck up and go to sleep."

"Aww, you're no fun," complained Alfred bitterly. But he complied with Lovino's order, and flopped down on his bunk, arms up to shield himself from Lovino's flying barrage of pillows. After a while, his breathing slowed and Lovino felt the coast was clear.

"Right now tomato bastard," Lovino whispered, clearing away Antonio's blanket cover, "It's safe for you to leave. Just don't say any more about this, or I will after you with a sharpened spatula."

Antonio wriggled out of the fort silently, but when he reached the entrance he stopped and grabbed Lovino's hand, drawing him closer.

"Lovi," He whispered, eyes meeting the Italian's with solemn purpose, "I just want to say-"

But whatever he was going to say next was cut off by a sudden burst of music coming from beneath the open window.

"_Maybe you're my love!"_

This was accompanied by soft, rapid swearing as whoever owned the phone now blasting the theme to _Ouran High School Host Club _struggled to turn it off.

"_Kiku, turn that off!_" A different voice was now issuing through the blinds, and was that… a meow?

Lovino pushed his way out of the pillow fort and strode over to the window, yanking open the blinds and leaning out, ready to give whoever had been spying on them an earful of Italian rage. But unfortunately Kiku and his accomplice had disappeared off into the night, phone still playing the Japanese theme song at top volume. But that wasn't putting Lovi off.

"GET BACK HERE YOU BASTARDS! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THE SHIT STORM THAT'S COMING WHEN I FIND YOU. I WILL FIND YOU IF I HAVE TO CHASE YOU TOO HELL AND BACK, THEN I WILL FORCE FEED YOU TOMATOES AND SET MY BROTHER ON YOU SAYING THAT YOU HID HIS PASTA!"

"Jeez Lovi man, chill!"

Lovino whirled around to face Alfred, who seemed completely oblivious to the fact that Lovino was ready to murder anyone who came inside his five metre radius. Alfred obliterated that radius by coming up and clapping a hand on Lovino's shoulder in brotherly fashion.

"Dude, was that Antonio who just ran past me?"

Lovino whipped around, mouth gaping. _Cazzo this merda. _"Uh... perché sono così male in questo... No, of course not! It was just... A squirrel! That's right, a squirrel."

Alfred looked at him quizzically. "Right. A squirrel that just happened to be human shaped."

Inwardly, Lovino slapped himself, trying to think up a suitable excuse. Why was he so bad at lying?

"Uh... It was... (Oh fuck)... It was my brother!" He suddenly hit upon the idea, and gabbled furiously. "Feli came in last night because uh... He wanted to make pasta! And then he wanted to eat it in the pillow fort but pasta sends him to sleep, so we were having a siesta when you came in but Feli was scared of you because he thought you might tell that potato bastard that he ate pasta with me instead of him (succhiare il maschio che la patata!) so he waited until you were asleep so he could leave." Lovino finished his speech, panting slightly. He looked sideways at Alfred to see if this was reasonable.

Alfred was still looking at him questioningly. "So where does the squirrel come in then?"

This time, Lovino really did slap himself.

_A/N: Stars here! Sorry for the slow updates guys! School is so mean once you come back from a break. I had 3 consecutive tests and half a dozen assignments to hand in, plus catching up on the stuff I missed AND hockey trials for the 2nd XI... I actually broke down at one point. But I cheered up every time I got an email saying someone has favourited, followed or reviewed this story. So thanks so much guys :') _

**It was pretty intense. My apologies, I think the Giripan and USUK basically flopped like a dead fish. **_And I actually wrote the Spamano while I was in Australia, on Word without WiFi, so I had no idea what Alphabet had previously written ;) We have adjusted it so it should make sense, but I'm sorry if it doesn't._

_Alfred's sudden Monty Python obsession was inspired by me spending a holiday in Australia with an arachnophobic sister who sets Monty Python soundtracks as her ringtone. (It rubbed off on me. Now every time Alphabet texts me, my pocket screams: "NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!") We ended up walking the house quoting at the top of our voices, annoying the hell out of my family. Also, Alfred is based off me a little. I tend to kick PULL doors in school quite often, as Alpha here knows ;) _

**OKAY. Translations: 1. **Te deje de tirar los tomates a mí:** Will you stop throwing those tomatoes at me?**

**2. **perché sono così male in questo: **Why am I so bad at this**

**3. **succhiare il maschio che la patata!: **Suck on that macho potato!**

_Oh! And we are considering going on a student exchange sometime in the (hopefully near) future :) Wish us best of luck for convincing our parents and getting enough money! Then we would be saying goodbye to beloved New Zealand for Italy or Sweden or Canada or somewhere. We want to do this so bad! _**Seriously, official life goal. **_To travel the world as a student... Experience a new culture in the closest way possible. Such an amazing thing to do._

_Ciao!_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: (Stars) Hey guys, enjoying your Easter? Here is the next chapter all ready for you. I hope you like Nordic pairings; because this is a filler dedicated their epicness. Also, take careful note, _**(but its super obvious)**_ because there is something important in here which you need to pick up on for the next few chapters. Ok, I'm done. Take it away, Maestro! _

Tino skipped into his dormitory, satisfied with a hard days school work. The first he noticed when he opened the door was his intimidating roommate Berwald, sitting dejectedly on the only couch, reading a book. Berwald's eyes snapped up as Tino entered, his piercing green eyes making intense contact with Tino's as only Berwald could. Tino practically bounced into the room, feeling very happy but at the same time trying hard not to shy away from the Swede's focused gaze. However, Tino stopped in his tracks when he discovered why Berwald looked so morose.

"Uh Berwald," Began Tino hesitantly, "Um... Where are our beds?"

Berwald closed his book with a snap, and rolled his eyes. "I think Mathias's trying t' build a robot again," he said calmly.

Tino sighed. "Well I hope it works for his sake! Honestly, why does Lukas even help him? It's a mystery for me... And God knows where they hid them." He flopped onto the couch, closing his eyes.

Berwald nodded again, this time noticing the cracking in Tino's voice, the subdued movements and the bags under the small boy's eyes that gave exhaustion away. He scooted closer to the beautiful vision almost falling asleep on the couch, trying to suppress the urge to shift Tino's soft blonde hair away from his face. Berwald had a crush on the Finn ever since they became roommates, but he was positive that Tino didn't feel the same way. But Berwald had never been very sensitive or good with feelings, even though he tried very hard.

Tino opened his eyes again, only to see the expressionless face of Berwald close to his, startling him. He always became so embarrassingly nervous and jumpy whenever Berwald did something like this, damn it. Poor Berwald, he must always take it the wrong way. Truth be told, Tino was head-over-heels with the intimidating yet protective Swede. His mind goes into overdrive whenever Berwald spoke to him, and he reacts in the most awkwardest ways. Berwald probably didn't see anything in him at all, just a frail blonde boy who keep hanging around him. His English wasn't very good either; Tino had long since convinced himself that 'Wife' was Berwald's way of saying 'Friend'.

"Tino," Asked Berwald slowly, "Are ya OK?"

Tino pulled himself away from Berwald's hypnotising green stare, only to jabber; "Yes, yes I'm fine! Just an itty bit tired, that all." He yawned. Tino had been at the ship club all evening, sorting through pictures of his OTP's. However, half the club was staying up all night, fangirling/fanboying over the new Spamano material that was coming in.

Berwald reached over cautiously and brushed Tino's soft hair from his forehead. "Ye should go t' sleep, m' wife."

"But Berwald," cried Tino desperately, "We have no _beds!"_

Berwald only shrugged, and inclined his head. "Ye could sleep on t' couch?"

"But what about you?" Tino asked, his adorable face looking up at Berwald's with concern. "Where are you going to sleep?"

"T' floor?" suggested Berwald. Tino shook his head. "No I can't have you sleeping on the floor while I'm on the couch. It's not fair!"

"There's not n'ff room on the couch f'r both of 's," argued Berwald gently. Tino went bright red.

"Well, I'll sleep on the floor with you!" He decided, but Berwald shook his head. "Igen. No, you sleep 'n t' couch," he said firmly, pushing Tino's shoulders gently so he stayed sitting down, ignoring his protests. He then strode across the room towards the trap door in the ceiling. He tried to reach up to the handle, but failed to grasp it. The Gakuen Academy was famed for its high ceilings. Tino giggled at Berwald's attempts.

"Do you want me to help?" Said Tino, getting off the couch and bouncing over to him. Berwald stared at him, wondering how on Earth this small boy could achieve what he himself, a giant among classmates, could not.

Tino tried not to shrink back under his beloved's gaze, and pointed.

"The blankets are in there right?"

Berwald nodded.

"Well OK then," Said Tino, as cheerfully as he could muster without blushing, "Put me on your shoulders and I'll get them!"

Berwald just stared, and Tino began to wonder if he had said the wrong thing. But he had only just opened his mouth to spurt some hasty apology when the Swede picked Tino up as though he was a feather and placed him on his shoulders with lightning swiftness, leaving Tino to grab Berwald's head in shock, his fingers curling around his blonde strands, trying hard not to fall backwards in shock.

"O-oh... Okay then," Said Tino, trying to recover his composure and balance. Berwald had steadying him with his hands wrapped around Tino's thighs, and that was very distracting. "Wow, everything's so high up here! Is this how you see everything all the time?"

Berwald only grunted, and changed his grip as Tino shifted his weight.

"I hope I'm not too heavy for you," fretted Tino. "Are you alright? You wouldn't _drop _me would you?"

Berwald shook his head. "You're like a..." He struggled to find the word. "L'ght, Fl'ffy, pretty?"

"Uh... feather?" Guessed Tino, his mind resorting to similes in his flustered state.

"Ya." Agreed Berwald. "M' feather wife."

Tino almost fell off his shoulders again, and grabbed tight onto Berwald's hair, making him flinch. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,"

"'s OK,"

"Right," said Tino, deciding to act as if nothing had happened, "I'll just open this trap door and get some blankets." He pushed himself up so he was even higher, straining to reach the handle without kicking Berwald in the face. Berwald pushed him slowly up, until finally his fingers brushed the door.

"Got it!" Tino crowed, gripping the handle with butterfly fingers. "One, two, three-!"

Tino jerked the door downwards, and was met by heavy folds of material crashing down on his head. He toppled backwards off Berwald's shoulders, pulling the rock solid giant down with him until they all crashed onto the ground in a jumbled mess.

"Tino? Are ye OK?" Asked Berwald anxiously, picking himself off the ground, which proved difficult because Tino was still holding onto his head, laughing.

**1.00 am.**

Berwald was woken up by his watch beeping, signalling that he should be asleep. Grumbling under his breath in Swedish, he changed positions on the hard floor so he was facing Tino's couch. But when his eyes focussed enough to make out a blurred shape, (He wasn't wearing any glasses) he realised that Tino was no longer on the couch.

"Tino?" He whispered, crawling towards the couch. "Are ye there?"

He was answered by a faint murmur coming from directly in front of him. He scrambled back hastily, finally noticing the slight shape of Tino still lying in the position where he had fallen off the couch.

"Berwald?" Tino murmured sleepily, turning over to face Berwald. "Why... Why am I on the floor?" He raised his head with apparent effort, propping himself up by his elbows. When he noticed that he was level with the underside of the couch, he rolled his eyes at his own exploits. "I rolled off again, didn't I?"

Berwald nodded seriously, but he couldn't help smiling inside. He wished desperately that he could see Tino properly, for he was only a fuzzy shape to Berwald's poor eyes. He moved closed to the Tino shaped blur, mentally cursing his bad eyesight and the current darkness. He badly wanted to see Tino's face, he was sure it would an adorable sight. His hair would be all mussed up, his eyes would be sleepily half open, giving Berwald the tiniest glimpse of the violet orbs beneath the delicate lids staring back at him dreamily, a half smile on those lips…

"I wish," started Berwald, mouth forming the words that were going round and round his head, "I wish I could see ya."

Tino cocked his head to one side, looking puzzled. Then he realised what was missing on Berwald's face, and reached up gently to rest his finger on the space between Berwald's eyes.

"I'm sorry; I forgot you couldn't see much without your glasses," he said, "Is your eyesight really that bad? Can you only see things up close?"

Berwald inclined his head. "Yea', 'm short sighted."

Tino let out a little "Oh," of understanding, before wriggling closer on his stomach to where Berwald was sitting. "Is this any better?" He asked curiously.

"A little," Berwald said, "You're still blurry t'o. 'Can't make out any details."

Tino sat up, his position mirroring Berwald's, and placed his hands the floor on either side of Berwald's knees and leant forward, face a few inches away from Berwald's. Berwald stared back, eyes focusing on Tino's beautiful features which were now in sharp detail.

"How about now?" Breathed Tino, his warm breath tickling Berwald's face, he was so close. Berwald raised his eyes to meet Tino's, and was surprised at what he saw there in those violet depths. Perhaps that was what gave him the courage to do what he had always dreamed of since he met his wife.

Berwald leaned forward quickly (and rather awkwardly) and closed the gap between them, pressing his mouth fleetingly to Tino's. He felt Tino's small intake of breath as he did so, and pulled away just as fast, not wanting to see Tino's fearful reaction. He moved back to his sleeping spot on the floor and rolled over, trying to shut out the rest of the world.

What had he just done? Ruined his friendship with Tino, no doubt. The small boy was probably disgusted with him, not to mention scared. Tino was terrified every time he looked at him, for God's sake! He would never look at Berwald kindly again, and Berwald could never look at him, out of shame. However, Berwald couldn't deny that it was the single most exhilarating moment of his life so far. Sharing that intimate connection between him and the person he loved caused fireworks to go off in his head, the noise of them echoing his thumping heartbeat, the colours of the sparks the sensations he experienced, the softness of Tino's mouth and hair (which had tickled Berwald's nose), his taste (sweet), his smell (frost and pine trees). Berwald knew that he had to hang onto that moment, because there was no way Tino could ever like him back.

Tino sat in the same position, frozen with shock. Berwald had kissed him. _Berwald had kissed him._ Berwald had been brave enough to press his lips to Tino's cowardly ones, and now he was lying silently in his solitary corner of the room because Tino wasn't brave enough to kiss him back.

Stupid, stupid, _stupid! _Berwald was probably feeling really terrible now, thinking that Tino hated him, didn't care for him. Tino wanted nothing more than to run up to Berwald and yell the truth in his ear, but something held him back, kept him grounded. But he couldn't help grinning in delight. Berwald liked him! All this time Tino had thought that his love was unrequited, that there was no chance in hell of Berwald feeling the same way about Tino as he did about him. The happiness that this revelation caused bubbled up inside him, threatening to burst. It filled his soul with hope, and eventually, courage.

Berwald had almost drifted off into an uneasy sleep when suddenly he felt a small, warm shape snuggle up to him. He opened his eyes to see Tino curled up into his chest, the top of his head resting underneath his chin, eyes wide open and staring up at him.

"Tino?" He asked, as if he thought it was a dream. Tino reached up and pressed a finger to his lips.

"I love you Berwald," He said, eyes full of emotion. "I'm sorry I was never brave enough to say it before."

Berwald stared at him for a second, taking in his words. Then he gently removed Tino's hand from his mouth, and folded him in his arms.

"My wife." He said simply, because that was all that needed to be said.

Lukas had finally had enough. He was fed up to the back teeth of being dragged around on Mathias's brainless schemes. He was fed up with the Dane himself, for that matter. So now, he had decided, he was going to teach him a lesson.

Lukas made his way silently over to the bathroom, careful not to stop the loud snores coming from the bed opposite. Mathias was hanging off the side of his bed again, in danger of slipping off. Lukas rolled his eyes, but then was struck by the idea that if he fell out, he would wake up and ruin Lukas's plan. Sighing exasperatedly, Lukas crossed the room to Mathias's bed, and gently moved him back into the centre of his bed.

"Ok you lump," He murmured, "Just remain dead to the world and I won't resort to plan B."

Mathias's snores thankfully continued, and Lukas nodded, satisfied, before continuing his silent journey to the en suite. The door had been decorated by Mathias, who had painted the bottom half of the door with the Danish flag, leaving Lukas to paint the upper half with the Norwegian. Lukas's flag was of course, perfect in every way, while the Danish flag was painted on sloppily, but still regained its patriotic symbolism. Lukas smiled as he remembered the afternoon Mathias had come back with a couple of cans of paint, a grin from ear to ear. He had dumped them in front of where Lukas had been peacefully reading and said: "How about it Norge? Wanna spice this place up a little?" The painting itself was a hot and messy business. Lukas smiled slightly as he remembered.

_Mathias was working on his stomach, slapping paint on with his brush with enthusiasm. Lukas stood off slightly to the side, glaring slightly. Little did Mathias know, but Lukas wasn't quite tall enough to paint the very top of the door. He had already paint__ed as much as he could, stepping around (and over) Mathias, who seemed quite happy about the awkwardness. But now he could reach no higher, and he'll be damned if he asked Mathias for help._

_However, the Dane noticed anyway, and proceeded to laugh his head off. But Lukas just walked forward until he was standing on Mathias's back, (he was still on the floor) and reached up to finish off the flag, ignoring Mathias's protests. "God, d'ya know how heavy you are Norge? For such a slight, little thing, you are seriouslyAAARGH-"_

_When Lukas was finally finished he hopped off Mathias casually and started packing away. But Mathias was still groaning on the floor, being pathetic. "Noooooorge... Help me up..."_

_Lukas had shrugged, and replied, "You asked for it." He grabbed the back of Mathias's collar and hauled him upwards, making the Dane fly backwards into him, knocking them both to the ground, crashing into the cans of paint. Lukas looked up to see the grinning face of Mathias close to his, half of it covered in red paint, with blue and white streaks all through his unruly hair._

"_Paint fight!" Crowed Mathias, brandishing a brush and attacking Lukas, who shoved him off into a puddle of red paint. Mathias grabbed a tin and sloshed what was left of its contents at Lukas, who calmly grabbed another one and promptly dumped it on top of Mathias's head. Mathias spluttered, wiping it out of his eyes with his arm, still grinning. He lunged forward at Lukas, smearing paint on his cheeks until his face was covered with red. Lukas took a step backwards and kicked the puddle at his feet, which sprayed upwards. Mathias rugby tackled Lukas to the ground, and they rolled over and over in the paint until they were finally interrupted by Lukas's brother Emil bursting in and ruining the moment._

Lukas shook off the memory and strode inside the bathroom, quickly pulling open drawers and rifling through their contents. He was so involved in his task that he didn't notice Mathias's snores becoming less even and shallower. Finally, Lukas straightened up triumphantly, grasping a large clear tube full of some thick substance. Lukas inwardly smiled as he read the handmade label.

_Mathias's awesome hair gel is not to be touched by ANYONE. That means you Gil! I mean it. If this gel is to be used by anyone else but me, well... You don't want to think about it. Let's just say Norge is pretty good at working curses. BEWARE THE POWER OF SCANDINAVIAN MAGIC! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!_

Lukas paid no attention to the warning, and crossed to the window, opening it just wide enough to slip his hand through. But just as he did so, a sudden noise behind him made him spin around and drop the tube of hair gel outside. He jumped away from the open window as Mathias appeared in the doorway, looking like a handsome zombie after a tussle with a teddy bear.

"Norge! You're up early!" Mathias' greeting was broken up by a large yawn and Lukas attempted to defy the overwhelming urge to give into the contagious yawning.

Lukas scrambled for a cover quickly, composing himself, "Your incessant snoring woke me up."

"Aw!" Mathias threw his arm around Lukas' shoulder and Lukas sent a glare his way, "You never seem bothered by it every other night though!"

Lukas rolled his eyes and sighed, "Clearly it was different tonight, you insufferable fool."

"You love me really." Mathias released Lukas and pulled open the drawer that his hair gel had previously occupied. Lukas watched as Mathias began his pointless search, and _not_ because he was admiring the Dane's fine physique, but because he was basking in the glow of tricking someone with such a simple plan.

Lukas zoned out as he congratulated himself on such an achievement and when Mathias' face was suddenly right in front of his, he nearly had a heart attack. "Norge, you wouldn't happen to know where my hair gel is."

Lukas leaned backwards and kept a straight face, "Of course not."

"Really?"

"The state of your hair doesn't concern me."

Mathias pouted a look of playful hurt flashing across his face. "Aw, I thought you liked it!"

"That is a gross misconception."

"Well," Mathias began, stretching out a finger and hooking it around Lukas's stray curl,

"I think _your _hair is cute." He pulled at it gently, tugging Lukas's pale blonde head closer to his. He leaned forward, his blue eyes captivating Lukas with a smouldering stare. "And as for the rest of you," He snaked his other hand down Lukas's side, who stood there, frozen to the spot. He couldn't think, his brain was clogged up with the image of a pair of the bluest eyes he had ever seen, staring right into his soul, "Du er den smukkeste, jeg nogensinde har set. Gud, jeg vil have dig så hårdt lige nu. Du kan aldrig indse, hvor meget jeg elsker dig, så bare lad mig drømme. Venligst Norge. Bare giv mig det."

Mathias finished softly, his gaze raking Lukas's face one last time. He let out a small sigh, so close that Lukas could feel it tickle his face, the slightest brush of a cool hand, so close, but yet so far away.

Mathias straightened up abruptly, running his hands through his hair, breaking eye contact from Lukas. He strode a few paces towards the door, and then turned back.

"I'll look for my gel in the morning," he yawned, and Lukas felt a sudden, unnatural flash of guilt. "Whoever took it won't go far, not after you cursed it."

"That curse was originally intended for you, idiot," grumbled Lukas quietly, still standing stock still in the same spot.

Mathias laughed and blew Lukas a kiss. "Night night Norge! See you in the morning."

"We have that school trip in the morning," Lukas reminded him, trying to steer his thoughts towards normality again.

"Well fuck that!" Mathias shouted from across the dorm, before promptly dropping back off to sleep.

Later, long after Mathias's snores had eased into their familiar pattern, Lukas lay flat on his back, wide awake, still thinking about what Mathias had said. Because little did the Dane know, Lukas was fluent in Danish. He knew exactly what Mathias had said to him when he put a hand through his hair, stroked Lukas's side with the tenderness of a lover. Knew exactly what Mathias had meant when he looked deep into Lukas's eyes, leant in so close Lukas had been sure he was going to kiss him. Lukas thought he had been teasing, but then he heard those words that came out of his mouth.

Lukas mouthed them in the darkness, lips forming them cautiously as if unsure what to do with them, squash them or let them fly free.

_You are the most beautiful I have ever seen. God, I want you so badly right now. You can never realise how much I love you, so just let me dream. Please Norge. Just give me that._

Outside, the gravel crunched as footfalls echoed along the walls of the dormitories, confident and heavy. Their owner was humming something under their breath, the guitar riff of a famous heavy metal song, badly out of tune, as if they were listening to music with earphones in, rendering the listener oblivious. Suddenly, the footsteps paused outside Lukas and Mathias's bathroom window, scuffling to a halt. The unknown wanderer muttered something under their breath, and a scraping noise occurred as they picked something off the ground. They let off a small gasp of recognition, and then a small chuckle before the footsteps started again, this time accompanied by a soft laugh echoing in the darkness.

"_Keseseseseseses~"_

**A/N: (Alphabet) Hello! This wonderful filler chapter was mainly brought to you by Stars :) **_I have lately had this Nordic obsession. They are amazing. And I have discovered the Hetalia character songs! Always With You, the Nordic one, is the bomb. And Norway's voice! *_* so damn gorgeous! Icey isn't half bad either ;)_

**The Danish in this chapter is just spectacular when you put it into Google Translate. It caused a lot of confusion and I nearly died. **

**So you saw what Stars actually meant before, but this is what Google Translate thought was appropriate:****You are the most beautiful I have ever seen. God, I want you so hard right now. You may never realize how much I love you, so just let me dream. Please Norway. Just give it to me.**

**Yes. That was an interesting moment. **_I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST PUT THAT IN!_

**On another note, has anyone seen the new episode of DW? (No spoilers)**_ Because we haven't seen yet. -cries-_

**The layout of our story really doesn't translate well on fanfiction. *cries***

**No post on Sundays in honour of Richard Griffiths. :( **

**Have a good Easter/I hope you had a good Easter! Ta ta!**


	9. Chapter 9

Lovino was woken the next morning by a persistent knocking noise coming from outside his room. Grumbling, he rolled out of bed, deciding that it would be better to answer the door before the American encountered whoever it was on their step, banging in that increasingly irritating manner. He strode over to the front door, did a last minute check to see if he was decent, then flung the door wide open and started cursing at the cowering figure standing before him.

"Antonio, its five in the fucking morning! Just give me some space you bastard, you don't need to be hanging around twenty four-fucking-seven-"

"Don't be angry at me fratello!"

Lovino ceased in his bout of rage to glance up at who he had been shouting at, and realised with a jolt of embarrassment (and dare he say it, disappointment) that it was _not _Antonio on his front doorstep.

"Feli?" He asked, thrown at the sight of his younger twin brother cowering on his front step, holding a large bag. "What are _you _doing here, jackass?"

Feliciano broke out in a huge smile, rocking forward and backward on the tips of his toes, and thrust the large bag of stuff in his brother's face.

"I wanna make pasta with you Lovino!" He sang, flinging out his arms in a joyful gesture. "I wanna make pasta for the field trip today, and I thought... maybe you could help me!?"

"Aw _cazzo," _cursed Lovino under his breath. He had forgotten about that stupid field trip for world history. Trust his Nonno to come up with the idea to take a bunch of teenagers to an uncharted area and tell them to recreate the experience of early settlers. And telling them that they could bring whatever they think is required for such a feat _was not _the best idea.

Feliciano frowned disapprovingly at his brother, still holding the massive bag full of pasta ingredients. "Nonno says you shouldn't swear Lovino!"

"Fine," retorted Lovino. "I'll swear in English. Fuck fuck fuck shit shit shit I don't fucking want to go on this motherfucking school trip which I fucking forgot about and would've probably fucking missed if you hadn't been such a fucking dumbass and fucking turned up welcomed on my fucking doorstep at five in the fucking morning to make fucking pasta!"

"_Please _make pasta with me fratello?" Pleaded Feli, ignoring Lovino's frustration. "I know it's early but you need time to make lots of fresh pasta and I need your help! Pleeeeease... I'll share it with you!"

Lovino was more than happy to kick his annoying brother out of his dorm at that moment, but the promise of fresh pasta made him hesitate. Pasta made by his brother was pretty damn good.

"Uh... Would it have any tomatoes in it?" He said cautiously.

Feliciano's face lit up like a beacon, and he jumped up and down excitedly, spilling flour on Lovino's tank top. "Ve~ of course!" He grabbed Lovino's wrist and tugged him into the kitchen, babbling excitedly as he did so. "This will be fun!"

"L'amore è un uccello ribelle

che nessuno può domare,

e tu lo chiami abbastanza invano

se gli fa comodo di non venire!" Sang Lovino at the top of his voice, opera style, hurling flour down onto the pasta dough he was rolling. Clouds of white dust flew in his face, and he coughed loudly. "Cazzo!"

Feli laughed from where he was working, making equally as much mess as his brother. There were bits of dough stuck in his hair, but he didn't pull them out.

"Nulla aiuta, né minacce né preghiera.

Un uomo parla bene, l'altra di mamma;

è l'altro che preferisco.

E 'in silenzio, ma mi piace il suo aspetto!" He sang the next verse while Lovino continued to cough and swear in unison. The Italian opera Carmen was blasting through Alfred's massive speakers and the Vargas twins were singing with gusto while completely trashing the kitchen.

"Amore! Amore! Amore! Amore!" They belted out this line in unison, Lovino singing baritone while Feli screeched his way through soprano, making them both fall about laughing.

Suddenly, a loud banging sound cut through their opera fest, which had probably been going on a long time, considering how loud the music was playing.

"Goddammit," grumbled Lovino, shaking the rest of the flour out of his hair, "Who the hell is it this time?"

"I'll get it~!" Sang Feli, sailing off too answer, Lovino hard on his heels.

"No you won't!" He shouted desperately, but too late. Feliciano had pulled back the door, smiling like the sun, sporting one of Lovino's aprons saying 'Fuck you, I'm Italian,' and covered in flour and pasta dough.

Feliciano squealed when he opened the door, "Luddy! Are you here to make pasta?!"

Lovino raised an eyebrow as the German went pink and thrust the flowers he was holding at Feliciano. Feliciano's eyes started watering and Lovino sighed. His brother cried at everything. Feli accepted the flowers, sniffed at them hesitantly then looked up at Ludwig's emotion-filled face. "L-Ludwig?"

The potato eater cleared his throat loudly, fiddling with the collar of his blazer, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Erhm... Well... Happy anniversary Feliciano."

Feliciano lit up and practically flung himself at Ludwig, hugging the poor German around the neck and squealing excitedly.

"Ve~ Luddy, you remembered! And the flowers are so pretty too!"

"In here there are Gerberas and Rosebella," said Ludwig, carefully fixing the bouquet as his excitable Italian boyfriend hugged him again, "I thought they would symbolise-" But he was cut off by Feli delivering a joyful kiss full on his mouth, turning him bright red. "Feliciano," Ludwig whispered, "Not now, your bruder is watching!"

Feli turned around to beam at Lovino, who was still standing behind him looking mutinous.

"Look what Luddy brought me Lovi!" He sang, thrusting the flowers in Lovino's face.

"Yes, wonderful. Fucking fantastic," grumbled Lovino, turning away. "I'll just you two lovebirds some space shall I?" He made off as if to walk back into the dorm, but stopped and turned around, pointing an accusing finger at Ludwig, who was being kissed on the cheek by Feli. "Listen up, potato bastard. I don't care if you two have been dating for a year, hurt Feli and I'll castrate you. Capisce?"

And with that, he stormed off to the safety of his dorm.

Ludwig looked at Feliciano, who was biting his lip incredibly cutely, staring after his brother with a worried expression on his face. It bothered Feliciano to see his twin so upset, Ludwig could see that. But Lovino had always disliked their relationship, so why was the adorable little brunette so worried now?

He asked his boyfriend just that, and he looked at him shrewdly as if deciding whether to let Ludwig in on a secret.

"Well..." Feli said, fidgeting, "Pinkie swear you won't tell anyone?"

Ludwig sighed, but extended his little finger and curled it around Feliciano's. This was a ritual they had always done, when they were friends and vowed to always remain so, when they became lovers and swore that their love will never die. But sometimes Feliciano used it as a simple gesture of trust, but somehow that made it even more heart to heart.

"I swear, Feliciano."

Feli glanced around quickly, before leaning in close and whispering in Ludwig's ear.

"Well, you know how there was all that confusion on those facebook photos of Lovino and Toni?" He began. Ludwig nodded.

"Ja..."

"Well when I told Yao this morning (You remember my roommate, si?) that I was going to make pasta with Lovino, he told me that Kiku told him that Elizaveta rang him up to tell him that Lili had told her that Vash had let slip that Roddy was complaining to him that Arthur got a text from Alfred late at night telling him that Lovino had been feeling really angry and sad lately because he's been all confused about Toni acting really weird lately, because apparently Francis told him that..."

Ludwig started to tune out, eyes glazing over. Personally, he couldn't care less about what rubbish the gossip mill was spewing out, but Feliciano was expressing deep and genuine concern for his twin brother, and he didn't want to seem prudent, especially as he had his own wayward brother to worry about. However, all thoughts about brothers left his head as he glanced at his watch, and was shocked to see the time.

"FELICIANO!" He bellowed, causing Feli to jump. "WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE!"

"Oh no!" Feli gasped, and then ran back into Lovino's dorm. "I'll just grab the pasta and put these flowers in a vase..." He half ran, half skipped into the kitchen, gathering up all the pasta they had previously made and placing it in the bag. He then rummaged through the kitchen drawers, but the only vase he found had the American flag printed on it. "Aw, crap," he sighed, but filled it with water anyway. Lastly, he cautiously approached his brother who was curled up moodily on the couch, and gently shook his shoulder. "Ve~ Fratello, Grandpa would be mad if you don't come on the trip!"

"I don't fucking care Feli," grumbled Lovino, but he unwound himself anyway and trudged off to grab his bag, yelling at Alfred to "get his fat arse out of bed" as he did so. Lovino had made up his mind. He had a Spaniard to corner.

_A/N: (Stars) Finally, Italy has made an appearance! Took him long enough. And at last we have put in some promised GerIta. Honestly, that ship is so freakin' adorable. I did a bit of research into the flowers Germany gave him, but it was pretty rushed. The Gerberas are German flowers that symbolise happiness, while the Rosabellas are Italian roses that symbolise desire, passion, joy of life, youth, and energy._

**He should have given him lettuce. **_Heheh. Remind me not to leave that kind of thing up to you ;)_** LETTUCE. Its meaning is amazing. **_What is its meaning? _**Um. Something like "never give up" **_ANTONIO WOULD TOTALLY GIVE LOVINO LETTUCE _**Don't trust me though. Idk if it is legitimate. **_Lol OK._

_About Carmen. I have this headcanon that when Romano cooks, he plays Italian opera really, really loudly. And Carmen is one of my favourite operas. Yes, it was composed by a French dude, but it is often sung in Italian. However, when I tried to find the Italian lyrics, (is that the right word?) all I could find was the English and French versions of that part you just read. So blame Google translate for incorrect translations. Also, I have no idea who sung what parts, eg: soprano, alto, tenor, bass etc. But I personally think Romano's voice is a baritone, but Italy would totally try and sing soprano. Really badly, mind you._

_Updates would be once a week. Apologies for the lack of Spamano. We promise, we will make up for it! Ciao~!_


	10. Chapter 10

The bus groaned under the weight of the many students as it began the journey to the "unchartered, wild lands" that Mr Vargas had deemed fit for a school trip. Elizaveta watched as Feliciano and Ludwig talked, and Kiku leaned over.

"It is their anniversary. Ludwig is planning to take Feliciano out to dinner when we return from this trip."

"This is seriously all you guys do in this club when you aren't planning creepy stalker meetings?" Gilbert's face popped in between Elizaveta and Kiku, startling them as he leaned forward from his seat behind them. He looked doubly freaky today, because he was wearing some sort headscarf with a slogan of some old-fashioned heavy metal band blazoned across it.

"This club lacks the finesse required in setting people up."

Elizaveta turned and scowled at Francis, "Nobody asked you, idiot."

"I think the club is very good at what it does." said Matthew, who was getting acquainted with the window of the bus after Gilbert and Francis decided that a row could seat three people.

"Matthew! When did you get here?!" Elizaveta put a hand on her heart and Matthew rolled his eyes.

"I have been here for a while."

"Mein Gott, Lizzy. You'd be able to notice Mattie if you weren't blinded by Roddy's beauty on a daily basis."

Elizaveta's smile became maniacal and Gilbert coughed nervously, "What did you say to me? Because if you continue with those suggestive comments, I might have to resort to desperate measures," she pulled out her trusty frying pan with deadly grace and hefted it professionally in one hand, "And we don't want to come to that, now do we?"

Gilbert grinned and put an arm around Matthew's shoulders, "Mattie will keep me safe!"

Matthew jumped at the sudden affection, but then relaxed, blushing ever so slightly. "Eh? Aha... You'll have to go through me first Elizaveta!"

Elizaveta waved her frying pan one last time, "I will not hesitate to use this."

Matthew gulped, but stayed firm. "But perhaps its time for you to put it away now?"

Elizaveta reluctantly complied, and Gilbert leant over and murmured in Matthew's ear; "Well _someone _can't take a joke!" Mattie laughed. "At least I've got you Birdie," said Gilbert, pulling Matthew closer and rubbing him affectionately on the head with his knuckles, Matthew protesting feebly between laughter.

"Gil! Geroffmeeeee-GAH!" Without warning, Mattie was dragged bodily onto Gilbert and Francis's laps, yelling in surprise and gripping Gilbert's headscarf, which came off in his hands, revealing what was underneath.

"Whoa man, not the awesome hair!" Gilbert protested, gently removing Mattie's hands. "I spent ages on that!"

Matthew and Francis looked up to see what Gilbert was so worried about, and promptly burst out laughing.

"What? What's wrong with it?" Demanded Gilbert, crossing his arms protectively.

"Oh mon ami," Francis choked out between manly giggles, "You look like you stuck your infamous five metres in an electric socket."

This description was in fact, disturbingly accurate. Gilbert's hair was sticking straight up in clumps at odd angles all over his head. He looked a lot like a punk rocking evil albino hedgehog who had just been told he was disqualified from battle of the bands for being too awesome.

Matthew couldn't stop laughing. He just looked too ridiculous. And dare he say it... Attractive? But he stopped when a thought suddenly struck him, making him look up at Gilbert, violet meeting dark red.

"Gil... How did you do your hair like that?"

Gilbert smirked and winked craftily at the little Canadian. "Trade secret Birdie."

Mattie rolled his eyes. "No, seriously. Does it, by any chance, have anything to do with that tube I found on the bathroom floor this morning? The one with the handwritten label?"

"Maybe~"

"Gil! It was completely empty!"

"Why does that bother you?" Gilbert tugged at a vertical clump of hair, making faces at himself in the window. "Did you want to use some hair gel too? I could've made your hair totally awesome!"

Matthew winced at the thought of Gilbert being in charge of his hair. The concept was to terrifying to think about.

"No!" He said hurriedly, waving his hands. "No what I _meant _was-"

"What he meant was mfflehruffflemwaaa-"

Mattie tried again, one hand now clenched over Francis's mouth. "Did you even read that label on the tube?"

"No!" Laughed Gilbert. "The awesome me doesn't read labels. Load of mainstream commercial rubbish. You are all sheep, reading labels! You are sheep being controlled by a higher power! No offence dude," he said, leaning backwards and addressing the blonde kid sitting behind him. The youth's nieghbour, an outlandish looking type with a plaster stuck across his nose, burst into raucous laughter at his friend's expense, but stopped when the other nation raised their bushy eyebrow, fiddling the large curl above their ear.

"You really should've read that label..." fretted Matthew anxiously, but Gilbert was no longer paying attention. He had just stolen Matthew's glasses and shoved them on Francis's nose, cracking up when Francis posed like 'A sassy gay librarian.'

* * *

Further down the bus, Lovino shifted uncomfortably where he sat next to Antonio, trying to avoid his bright green gaze. Slowly, the tension built up more and more, until Lovino could stand it no longer.

"So uh... Did you get home alright last night bastard?" he asked gruffly, toying with the hem of his shirt.

"Si," said Antonio. "But Vash was angry at me for being away for so long," he shivered, remembering. "You are lucky you don't have such a scary roommate who keeps his guns hanging up on the wall."

"He didn't shoot you, did he?" Lovino asked, voice full of anger and concern. Dammit, if that Swiss bastard had scared Antonio...

"No Lovi, don't be so worried!" Antonio put one arm around Lovino, hugging him close and laughing. "If I was shot, I wouldn't be here!"

_Duh Lovino. _Lovino rolled his eyes at himself. Lo- FEELINGS made him so stupid sometimes. However, he struggled to get out of Antonio's one armed hug, swearing as he did so, and attracting the attention of the five boys sitting behind them, on the back row of the bus. Lovino just shot a few insults at them and turned back to his previous position.

"Oi bozo, take that back!"

A loud, harsh cawing suddenly filled Lovino's ear. He jerked his head to the side and glared at the comical looking puffin who was perched on his shoulder, digging his claws in.

"_What _did you say, bird brain?" said Lovino, brushing the puffin off his shoulder. It fluttered indignantly around his shoulder, squawking insults into his ear. However, Lovino was used to his classmates strange pets. For God's sake, his roommate's best friend was a fucking alien called Tony! Thankfully, after an argument that lasted for many hours and involved very little variety of dialogue, Tony had retreated to the lounge area where he dominated a couch playing video games and snickering at things on Alfred's laptop. These 'familiars', as Arthur Kirkland called them, are just as insane as their owners.

As if he had called him up with his imagination, a small, moody looking teen lent over the back of Lovino's seat and caught the offending Puffin with ease. He flipped his silver bangs out of his eyes and spoke softly to the struggling bird.

"Mr Puffin, I left you at home for a reason,"

"Get off me ya punk! Don't mess with my adorableness, everyone wants a piece of the puffin!" shouted the obnoxious bird.

"No, you're annoying. Shut up."

"Hey amigos, you're a puffin? I thought you were a penguin!" exclaimed Antonio, twisting around to address them. Mr Puffin glared at him accusingly.

"Why, am I cute enough to be one? Penguins can't fly, you dimwit! Puffins are way too awesome."

"You haven't been talking to Mathias have you?" asked the boy, rolling his eyes. Along the row of seats, another boy poked his head out and yelled; "What's that Icey?!"

He was poked in the side by another boy with a silver hair clip in his fringe. "Shut up, idiot Dane. No one asked your opinion."

The first boy, who Lovino now remembered was called Emil, caught sight of Mathias's head and his eyes widened in shock. "Mathias, what-"

Attention captured, Lovino followed Emil AKA Icey's gaze, and promptly started snickering. Mathias's hair, normally defying the laws of gravity (and reason) was now hanging limply in choppy strands at varying lengths on his neck and face. It was _not _a good look.

Mathias lifted a finger at his friends, glaring. "Not a word, got that? Especially not from you, Ice punk." The finger roved around to rest on a intimidating looking Swede, who was holding hands with a beaming blonde boy called Tino. "Or you, Ber."

"I assume this has something to do with Lukas?" asked Ice, trying hard to hold in his giggles. Next to him, aforesaid Lukas sighed.

"I thought you promised you would call me dear brother from now on." he said, hurriedly changing the subject.

Ice shrank back, looking annoyed, "That was only after the test came back."

"I am still your dear brother."

"I'm a teenager! I'm not going to call you dear brother!" Ice crossed his arms and huffed, putting his feet up on the back of Lovino's seat. He wore high white leather boots, laced up to his calves.

Lukas smiled wickedly, "You will call me dear brother. Mr Puffin agrees."

"You guys! I thought you sorted that out ages ago!" called Mathias from his seat between Lukas and Berwald. "We're like a family anyway, so what's the big deal?"

"If we are a family, then who am I?" asked Tino, butting in from his seat by the window. Berwald put an arm around him.

"M' wife," he said, and Tino giggled.

"Hold up, have I missed something here?" Demanded Mathias, looking from one to the other. "I swear, no one tells me anything! First Norge and Icey are having brother issues, and now you two? Oh, and my hair gel went missing last night."

At that, Lukas had an impromptu coughing fit that successfully allowed him to avoid looking at everyones faces. Mathias patted him enthusiastically on the back, while Ice just rolled his eyes and started playing on his phone, ignoring everyone. Berwald and Tino went back to silently enjoying each others company, leaning against each other and holding hands. Lovino turned to Antonio, who shrugged.

"I know Mathias through Gilly," Antonio whispered to Lovino. "And apparently there is a lot of UST between him and Lukas,"

"UST? What's that, bastard?" asked Lovino, feeling very confused. Antonio looked at him sideways and winked, tongue running over his top row of teeth, making Lovino blush and turn away.

"Unresolved sexual tension," he purred, enjoying Lovino turn bright red. "Its amazing the things you pick up when you hang around Francis. Anyway, Emil discovered he was Lukas's biological brother by a DNA test a few months ago. They had thought Emil was adopted, but apparently not. And he had trouble accepting that his oldest friend was in fact, his blood brother."

"Huh. That must've been tough," Lovi thought aloud, reflecting that, although he found Feli annoying sometimes, at least they had grown up knowing they were related. He watched the little gang of Scandinavian students bicker amongst themselves for a while, curious. Then it struck him, that despite his defensive attitude, he did have a family of friends, of sorts, just like them. Feli and Ludwig, Gilbert and Francis, even Alfred, but especially Antonio. Looking at him now, in all his entirety, Lovino realised how much Antonio mattered to him, in more ways than just one or two. He felt the connection between him and his Spaniard so strongly, he just wanted to take him in his arms then and there, but before he could even open his mouth, the bus grinded to a halt, and the clamour to leave the vehicle began.

**A/N: THIS IS WHERE THIS A/N STARTS, RIGHT? Hello! As you may have noticed, Stars basically made this chapter PruCan central (as is the next. I wonder what happened to our deal. Everything is PruCan. **_Sorry... You can have your PruAus later! _**[Later, she says. Which means NEVER]****Mr Puffin is terrifying, ohmygod. The character songs are hilarious and then BOOM! Puffin.**_ The character songs are actually where I get most of my characterisation from. _**Does anybody watch Supernatural? It's fantastic. **_She has been text bombing me about for the last month, which has been kinda awkward because I haven't seen it yet :'( _**THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I CAN'T SAY. **_Poor Alpha... _**SIRIUSLY. SO MANY SPOILERS.**

_Once again, apologies for lack of Spamano in this chapter. Stupid cockblocking bus. There is going to be loads more, I promise. _**Loads more of the cockblocking bus...**_ Totes bro. The cockblocking bus is fabulous. However I am encountering problems such as my beloved laptop crashing, and me deciding that chapter 12 is extremely crap, so you might have to wait a while. However, holidays are coming up, so will do loads of writing then! Yay!_

_Also we slipped in a cameo appearance of our country, New Zealand! We live in hope that they put NZ in more. They haven't even confirmed their gender, and we are keeping it that way. Sorry for the confusion._

_Until next week then! Ciao~_


	11. Chapter 11

Mr Vargas cleared his throat as he stood in front of the large group of teenagers, clicking his fingers as he prepared for his impromptu performance. Mr Vargas did a thumbs up at his grandson Lovino, who was standing near the front of the crowd and Mr Vargas pretended he didn't see the way Lovino's face paled when he opened his mouth to start singing.

"Near... Far... Wherever you are... You better be quiet so I can taaaaaaaaaaalk to yooooou."

The chatter died down and the majority of the students gathered outside the forest/the place they went to looked horrified. Some giggles rushed through the crowd as someone loudly asked what the hell that was meant to be.

"I see my stunning version of 'My Heart Will Go On' has captured your attention! Now!" Mr Vargas clapped his hands and smiled, "Today is the day you're going to be tested on your colonising skills! You've been placed in random groups and there are some rules we would like you to follow! And while I doubt any of these rules will be broken, some of you may want to pay close attention to what you shouldn't be doing."

"Hurry up, idiot!"

Mr Vargas placed a hand on his heart and wiped away an imaginary tear, "Lovi! Don't be that way!" he clapped his hands again and continued on with his speech, "First rule: don't wander off! You may think you have the correct skills to walk around on your own, trying to find somewhere to colonise, but you don't! So stay with your group! Clear?"

Mr Vargas nodded in approval as most students grumbled the affirmative, "Rule two; no physical force! Though this occasionally works, you don't need to use it on each other or the dummies we have placed around this unknown territory. Oh, yeah! There are a bunch of dummies lying around and you and your group have to find one and practice colonising!"

"Why do we need dummies?"

"Good question. I thought it was so you actually know where good places for colonies are, but it could be for anything." Mr Vargas shrugged, "Rule 3: Stay safe! As much as I hate to say this, at least one of you will injure yourselves at some point in this trip, so let's keep it to a minimum!"

"Don't forget about us." a teacher muttered and Mr Vargas hoped his smile would melt any unhappiness.  
"How could I forget about you?" Mr Vargas laughed awkwardly, "The teachers will be stationed at convenient points through these 'uncharted lands', so if you get yourselves into a pickle, they can help you. It also means no funny business." Mr Vargas pointed his finger at the students in conclusion.

A student raised their hand and started speaking before Mr Vargas had a chance to acknowledge them, "Excuse me, but isn't sending us out there without any prior knowledge dangerous?"

Mr Vargas laughed, "Of course it is! You'll be given a map that shows the perimeter of this forest, but you have to fill in the middle! This is a lot more information than you'd get if you were actually trying to colonise somewhere, so be grateful!"

Matthew raised a tentative hand, but Mr Vargas ignored him and carried on talking. Gilbert rolled his eyes and whispered to Mattie, who whispered back, wide eyed. Gilbert then put his hands to his mouth and yelled:

"Oi Mr Vargas! Mattie here-" he was cut off by Matthew shoving him in the ribs, blushing furiously. "Ok fine, the awesome me will say it. Mr Vargas, do we get to pick our own groups?"

Mr Vargas laughed and shook his head. "No, no. We have already sorted you into a group. You have to make use of whatever you each brought along, no planning ahead with others,"

This caused much discussion between the students, which was soon stifled by Mr Vargas bellowing that if they wanted to find out their groups they better come here _right now._

Elizaveta gestured to the other members of the ship club, and they all huddled around, listening closely.

"Ok," she said, doing a quick headcount. "This would be the perfect opportunity to get some good quality insight on our pairings, right? Has everybody brought their cameras?" they all nodded, except for Francis and Gilbert, who were joking about in the background.

"Good. No remember, no interfering-"

"What's that I hear, mon ami?" Francis was finally paying attention, and he poked his head through the gap between Elizaveta and Kiku's shoulders. "No interfering?"

"Mein gott Lizzy, that's lame," said Gilbert, throwing an arm around her and Francis's shoulders. "Enough with the unawesome stalking, I think it's time for some matchmaking!"

"Gilbert," growled Elizaveta, shoving his arm off. "If you don't like the club's methods, why don't you just leave?"

Gilbert pouted comically, spiked hair completing the look of demonic changeling. "If I leave this club would lose its awesome factor! Besides, I've already been kicked out of the music club. I can't handle that much rejection!"

Elizaveta recalled the music club incident. A mop, a pair of headphones and an angry but blushing Austrian had been involved.

"Yeah yeah, whatever," she said, moving on. "Now, there is no phone reception out here, but Kiku came up with an alternate solution. Please pass them around, Kiku,"

Kiku proceeded to pass around a bag, which the members of the ship club dipped their hands into suspiciously, drawing out...

"Kesesese, this is too good!" Laughed Gilbert, tossing his own chunky object into the air and catching it with ease. "_Walkie talkies? _You have got to be kidding me!"

"Oh, I hate you sometimes," Elizaveta huffed, flicking her hair out of her face. "But as one half of my OTP I suppose I should refrain from bashing you with my frying pan,"

"One half... Wait, what-"

"Don't you think it's time for us to get our groups?" Butted in Toris, who had been silent all this time. He was fidgeting uncomfortably, probably scared that he had been put in a group with Ivan.

"Oh! Yes, you are right. But one last thing before we split up," Elizaveta said, catching hold of the sleeve of a small blonde boy trying to sneak away, "Congratulations to Tino and Berwald, they are finally going out!"

Everybody cheered, Tino's friend Eduard patted him on the back, Gilbert and Francis wolf whistled, and Feliks called out; "Like, about time! You totally have got to tell me every detail!"

After fighting his way through dense bush, sweating in the heat, swearing profusely at the members of his group, and trying very hard not to stare at Antonio, Lovino decided that enough was enough. He sidled causally up to Antonio and tugged at his sleeve, facing the other way so he couldn't see that bastard's expression.

"Listen, bastard, about last night..." he said, unsure of what he was going to say next. But Antonio butted in, his face unreadable.

"Look Lovi, I'm sorry. I... I didn't mean anything by it..."

Lovino felt the blow as if he had just been physically struck, felt those words Antonio had just mumbled enter his brain and scream at him. Antonio said he liked him, didn't he? That bastard had got Lovino's hopes up, and just at that crucial moment he had brought Lovino's fragile hope crashing down around his ears.

Antonio carried on, unaware of what pain his babbling was causing. "I shouldn't have said those things, I wasn't thinking. I didn't really mean them in _that _way, you know? I don't _like you _like you, if you know what I mean-"

But Lovino had stormed off, leaving Antonio in mid-sentence staring after him as he pushed his way through the dense bush.

_A/N: Ahehehe... Stars here... _**This is all her fault. **_I admit it. I am evil. But this is what happens when you don't write for ages Alpha. _**I hit a block to end all blocks. And Supernatural got really intense. **_She turned up to school traumatised one day and sat there in Latin going "Holy shit Supernatural holy shit so intense I am actually freaking out," _**(Episode 11 of Season 4 is the scariest thing in the world) **

_However, Alphabet gets credit for the first bit of this chapter. So I shouldn't accuse her of slacking off so much. Sorry. (But that was like, 3 weeks ago!) _**Er. It was. APOLOGIES. **

_Well enough of that. I hope you enjoyed the latest installment of The Documented Dilemma Of Lovino Vargas, and we leave you hanging until next week What shall happen with Lovi and Toni? Dun dun DUUUUN..._

**STARS' BIRTHDAY IS ON FRIDAY. **_Thanks for reminding me ;) I can freak out now._

**goddamn it. i have lost the ability to type.**


	12. Chapter 12

Lovino just wanted to get away, away from the fucking bastard, away from his own quivering heart. He felt branches and rough bark tear at the skin at his arms as he stomped on, felt the bracken crack and crumble under his stomping feet. He relished in the pain of every slapping vine, every scratching twig. He ripped his way through the bush blindly, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake.

He finally stopped when he reached a river, and paused for breath. He rested his hands on his knees and hung his head, panting hard. _Dammit, when did I become so unfit?_ He straightened up, and immediately clutched at a searing stitch in his side.

Suddenly, he heard footfalls pounding towards him, and he turned to run again, but the pain in his side was too great and he just doubled over again, wheezing. He became aware of someone drawing up next to him, and he waved a hand.

"Fuck off."

"Lovino, are you OK?" came Antonio's voice softly, laced with a concerned Spanish accent.

"Do I look like I'm OK!?" came Lovino's voice shrilly. "Vattene via da me, bastardo. Lasciami in pace a sguazzare nella mia miseria patetica." Lovino straightened back up, and pushed Antonio forcefully away. Antonio stumbled back a little, but regained his footing, and laid his hands gently on Lovino's shoulders.

"Lovi-"

"Vaffanculo!" Lovino practically screeched. He tore himself away from Antonio's grip, and started running again, smashing blindly into trees because his eyes were full of tears.

However, he hadn't gone for more than a few paces when he abruptly ran out of ground.

He tried to retain his balance, but he was going too fast and he slipped on the dead leaves underfoot, and suddenly he was tumbling, sliding, crashing down through the undergrowth, moving far too fast to stop, his body bruising as he fell down the steep slope.

"LOOOOOVIIIIIINOOOO!"

Lovino was dimly aware of shouting, getting rapidly closer as he crashed down, limbs bent at awkward angles. He craned his neck around, and looked up just in time to see Antonio bearing down on him, sliding down belly first, as though he had propelled himself forward and fallen head-over-heels. Lovino's eyes widened as he realised that Antonio was heading straight towards him _and wasn't slowing down._

Lovino shot out an arm and hastily grabbed the nearest tree trunk, stopping his descent just in time for Antonio to crash into him. Lovino grunted, but swiftly grabbed Antonio's hand before he started sliding again. They stayed there for a few moments, Lovino hugging a tree with one hand and grasping Antonio's hand in the other.

After a few moments, Lovino opened his eyes again, having convinced himself that he wasn't about to die a painful and humiliating death. He slowly unwrapped his arm from around the tree, and got shakily to his feet, dusting off his clothes. He secured his footing on the unstable slope, and looked across at Antonio.

"Why did you do that bastard?" He asked gruffly.

"Do what?" Asked Antonio, confused. He shifted his weight onto one foot, avoiding Lovino's eyes.

Lovino gestured behind him, indicating the ledge he had slipped off. "You know... Come after me."

"Why wouldn't I?" Said Antonio, eyes bright and clear. In that moment, Lovino realised that Antonio truly wouldn't have done anything else; no other thought had crossed his mind when he had seen Lovino tumbling down that slope.

And it was in that moment that Lovino realised that he would've done _exactly _the same thing.

Dammit, Antonio was still staring at him like a lost puppy, obviously unaware of the mental battle ensuing in the chaos that was Lovino's brain. Why did that bastard have to be so oblivious? It really was unfair, Lovino decided.

He walked onwards, leaving Antonio to stumble hesitantly after him, confused. Eventually Antonio spoke.

"Lovi, what I said before, before you ran off..."

Lovino continued to walk, but inclined his head to show that he was listening.

"I only said it because I thought it would make you happy. I didn't expect you to react like that..."

Lovino whirled around, suddenly furious. "What, so you only say what you think I want to hear? You bastard! What's wrong with the truth, what's wrong with honesty?"

"N-nothing Lovi-"

"Do you realise you have me offering my heart to you? And that every false word you utter, it cuts me deep because I believe you!" Lovino was crying now, spitting out his words though hot and angry tears. "You fucking bastard, how the hell did I ever fall for you?"

"Lovino-"

"No! You _shut up! _You shouldn't be able to have the power to do this to me! And the fact that you did that with a _lie_, that you deceived me and bought my dreams crashing down around my ears-"

"Lovino, _listen _to me," Antonio had gripped Lovino's forearms in his tight grasp, forcing Lovino to meet his eyes, those emotion filled pits of teary green that blazed in a passion that froze the angry words rolling off Lovino's tongue. "I only told you that because I wanted you to be happy, because I thought that you could never return my feelings, because I was only a friend to you, or not even that. I made that decision to lie to you because I love you too much to see you put in a situation you didn't want to be in."

"Bullshit," spat Lovino, twisting out of his grip. "That's cheesy Disney _bullshit."_

But Antonio wasn't quite finished. "Or maybe I wanted to see if you truly cared. There was a part of my brain which went; "What would Lovi do if you told him you didn't like him? Would he be relieved? Would he be sad? Does he care about my feelings in the first place?"" He sighed, eyes clouding. "I'm sorry, you are right. I was selfish and cruel. And I definitely do not deserve you."

"Deserve me? You never had me in the first place," huffed Lovino, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well that's the problem, isn't it?" Antonio smiled ruefully.

For a moment in suspended in time, they stood there staring at each other through tear filled eyes. Lovino found himself staring at the tear tracks on Antonio's cheeks, the redness of his eyes. Was it possible to cry without looking like a right mess? How the hell did actresses manage to cry and manage to look pretty in movies?

The answer was, of course, because they didn't really care.

That moment shone like a soap bubble, both beautiful and fragile, a moment of a deep connection that passed between the two boys standing nose to nose in solitary wilderness.

"Lovino," whispered Antonio, feeling the shining moment start to slip away from under his fingers. "Lovino, I-"

But Lovino laid a gentle hand on Antonio's mouth, his fingertips lightly brushing Antonio's lips, silencing him.

"Oh, hush, you sexy bastard," Lovino whispered, and shifted his hand so it was caressing Antonio's cheek, and slowly, hesitantly, leaned in, auburn eyes fixed on green.

And then his lips met Antonio's, and suddenly they were kissing, very softly and tenderly as if afraid of breaking one another. Lovino deepened the kiss shyly, felt Antonio respond, wrapping his arms around Lovino's waist and gently pulling them closer together.

If this moment had music, it would be a soft, graceful minor melody the colour of endless skies dotted with burning stars, the colour of promises and forgiveness, a colour that was a sound that was a feeling that entwined itself around the lone figures, burning bright and illuminating their world.

They clung to one another like that, suspended in time as the world turned around them, in their own private universe of lush green forest and dappled light, of the colour of the music of the infinite moment which was the expressing of love between two individuals. Far above, a flock of birds flew up above the bush into the dazzling daylight, singing triumphantly to the sky, and Lovino could feel his heart flying and singing alongside them.

"_Is like, anyone there? Lizzy? This is group Spamano, do you like, receive me?"_

"_Sorry, yes hello! This is Matthew, or group PruAus. Sorry, who is in group Spamano again?"_

"_Gosh, you don't remember? It is I, the like, totally fabulous Feliks. But uh... We have a bit of a problem."_

"_Well join the club Feliks. Something really weird is going on here..."_

Feliks listened to Matthew's voice issuing from the walkie talkie with a puzzled frown. He shifted his weight onto another foot and checked his nails as he replied. His group members, (bar two) Kiku and Lukas, eyes him from where he stood.

"_Why, what's happening?"_

Matthew's reply was distant, as if he wasn't speaking into the microphone, but yelling at someone else.

"_No, for god's sake Francis, that isn't going to help him! Stop- what on Earth?"_

Feliks was about to reply when Kiku moved swiftly forward and politely plucked the walkie talkie out of his hand. Feliks was about to protest, but Lukas shot him a glare which silenced him immediately. Lukas's eyes were fixed on the walkie talkie, and there was a slightly evil looking, expectant smirk on his face.

"_Matthew-san? It's Kiku." _Kiku spoke calmly, but his eyes were worried. "_Please tell me, what is wrong?"_

The replywas rushed and garbled, Matthew was evidently freaked.

"_Something is happening to Gilbert!"_

_A/N: (Stars) Well I hope you are satisfied! Urgh that chapter was hard to get right. I think I re-wrote it about three times. But yay for Spamano! Lovino's reaction is little over the top, with all the sudden bursts of angst, rage and heartfelt speeches. I hope they weren't, to use Lovino's term; 'Cheesy Disney bullshit.' My random poetic musical artistic side showed through when I wrote that kiss scene. Feeling sensations as music which looks like colours which are feelings… Don't ask me what goes on in my brain. _

**It's clear you have developed a certain fondness for angsty!Romano. **_He is surprisingly fun to write._

_Translations: _"Vattene via da me, bastardo. Lasciami in pace a sguazzare nella mia miseria patetica. -_Get the hell away from me, you bastard. Just leave me alone to wallow in my pathetic misery._

Vaffanculo -Fuck off **(Beautiful. This is how you should address your true love)**

_Now, the side plot thickens! What is happening to Gilbert? If you were paying attention these last few chapters, I'm sure you have a fair idea what has caused Matthew's distress… But I would like to know your theories! Keseseses~ _

**Gilly is going to have fun. Omg this is actually going to be so funny. **

_Over and out!_


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: Warning. Cracktastic levels have risen to 100%._

Matthew knew that this day was going to be chaotic as soon as he found out he was placed in a group with none other than Gilbert, Francis and Roderich Edelstein. Not to mention the fact that Gilbert had adapted a look that made him look like a demonic albino hedgehog. An attractive demonic albino hedgehog, but a demonic albino hedgehog nevertheless.

"This group is the most awesome group ever!" Declared Gilbert, throwing his arms around Francis and a squirming Roderich. "Hey Mattie, join the group hug!" Matthew backed away quickly as Roderich succeeded in escaping from Gilbert's one armed bear hug.

"You are an idiot," he muttered, stalking away, nose in the air. Gilbert raised his eyebrows at Francis, who winked.

"Hey Roddy, where are you going?" Gilbert called, grabbing Roderich's arm and dragging him back.

"Away from you," replied Roderich curtly. Mattie couldn't help but giggle a little.

Gilbert put on his best pout, and flung his arms around Roderich's neck, pretending to sob into his shoulder. "You can't just leave me~ Oh Roddy, why do you break my heart so..."

From behind Gilbert, Mattie could see Roderich's face heating up, and remembering Elizaveta's words, he quickly snapped a picture on his camera. When he looked up, Francis' face was peering at him curiously. Matthew jumped back, alarmed.

"Mathieu, please tell me that's not all you do in this little club," said Francis disdainfully, grabbing the camera and flicking through the pictures on it. "Oh, good shot of monsieur Angleterre!"

"Francis, give that back," muttered Mattie, face now burning as much as Roderich's.

"Non," crowed Francis triumphantly, "I am a member of this club so I have full rights to use this camera. _In any way I please," _and with that, Francis snuck up to where Gilbert and Roderich were still half hugging, half wrestling, camera in his hands. Matthew trotted after him, half-heartedly trying to get his camera back.

"Ohonhon, say l'amour!" Said Francis, shoving the camera in the duo's faces. Gilbert took the hint, and pulled Roderich down into a dip, smirking at him.

"You know Roddy, I think we are going to keep this picture forever," said Gilbert, and then the flash went off.

The flash illuminated Gilbert's eyes for a second, making them glaze over. His body stiffened, and he dropped Roderich on the ground and stood there swaying, as stiff as a board, entirely unresponsive.

"Gilbert? Gilbert, are you quite alright?" Asked Roderich frantically, dusting himself off and shaking Gilbert lightly by the shoulder. "Gilbert, speak to me!"

"Let me do it, mon ami," said Francis, and looking bored, he smacked Gilbert on the head a few times. This seemed to jolt Gilbert out of his trance.

"What the fuck..." He said sleepily, clutching his head. "Did you hit me Franny?"

"Oui," said Francis, patting him on the shoulder.

"Gil, what was that!?" Asked Matthew, worried.

"I... I don't know,"

"Oh, come off it Gil," Said Mattie, suddenly irritated, "stop being a jerk for once and-"

But Gilbert was shaking his head, looking very confused. "No really, I feel a bit-"

Suddenly, he jerked backwards, body twisting as he crashed to the ground, eyes glazed-

"GIL!"

"GILBERT!"

"I'm all for loving your body Gilly, but this is a little too much..."

* * *

Alfred looked up from his endless chatter to hear a bloodcurdling scream split the air and make the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. It echoed through the trees eerily, an undecipherable garble of terrified sound. For Alfred, that was the final straw.

"Holy crap balls, did you guys hear that!?" He yelled, hugging the nearest thing for comfort, (which happened to be Arthur). "Shit that was a ghost, I know it! As if things couldn't get any worse in this creepy-as forest! I knew those freaking trees couldn't be trusted, 'it's too quiet' I said, but would you guys listen? Nooooo its all, "Oh shut up you stupid pakeha, just because _your _country has killed all your tranquil bush areas...""

The person he was addressing paused in the process of restraining his friend's koala from attacking a small bird, and watched, amused, as Arthur prised Alfred off himself.

"Bro, just calm down,"

"I DON'T WANT TO CALM DOWN!"

"Blimey! Alfred mate, I haven't seen you this scared since I put that big spider in your Pyjamas," whistled a wild looking boy with an Australian accent. "Oi Kiwi, whaddyeah doing to Baz?"

His friend, the blonde New Zealander, unceremoniously dumped the koala onto the Australian's head with disdain. "Your evil koala here was disturbing the peace. These things might look cute and fluffy from the outside, but I'm telling you Oz, as sure as hell they are one mean little bugger on the inside," 'Kiwi' remarked.

"Nah, that's just Baz," said 'Oz'.

"As heart-warming as this little chat may be," Arthur broke in, freeing himself from Alfred and dusting himself down, "I still don't understand what on earth made that noise! What if it's this horrifying monster coming to eat us all!"

"Arthur, there is as little chance of a monster coming to eat you as there is of historians discovering that the pavlova was invented in Australia." Said Kiwi, patting Arthur's shoulder comfortingly.

"Oi! Australia _did _invent the pav, and you know it!" Objected Oz indignantly.

"Bro, everyone knows it was a New Zealand invention,"

"Say that again to my face!"

Arthur looked at Alfred, who stared right back at him. Alfred laughed nervously.

"Ahaha... The land down under must be pretty crazy-"

"I AM NOT AUSTRALIAN!"

* * *

When Feliciano Vargas heard the scream, he immediately started wailing and overturned the picnic he had set up on the ground in front of him.

"AAAAH! What was that, what was that?!" He sobbed, clutching onto Ludwig's arm. "Save me Luddy, I don't like this at all~..."

Ludwig absentmindedly patted Feliciano reassuringly on the head while listening carefully as the scream sounded again. Then he sighed.

"Don't worry Feliciano," he said exasperatedly.

"Huh?" Asked Feliciano, confused by Ludwig's defeated tone.

"That was just mein bruder..."

* * *

Lovino and Antonio finally broke apart as they heard an unearthly screaming sound echo through the bush. They looked at each other, wary expressions on both of their faces. It was Lovino who broke the silence.

"What the fuck was that?"

Antonio shook his head, "I have no idea... But it sounded familiar."

It rang out again, sounding closer this time. Lovino clutched at Antonio's sleeve, and then pretended he hadn't.

"Merda... I don't like this,"

Antonio suddenly grabbed Lovino's hand, looking worried. "Well whatever it is, it's coming closer..."

"Shut up bastard!" Lovino growled. "Don't make it worse than it is already! We are already lost and separated from our group!"

"Oh, I thought that was a good thing?"

"Put a sock in it or I'll do it for you."

Suddenly the bushes close to where the duo were walking shook violently, making Lovino shriek in terror and jump into Antonio's arms. He only had a moment to register why he did however, before a vision of pink and silver burst through the bushes, screaming at the top of its lungs, madness in its red eyes.

"ARGLEARGLEBLAAAAAAAHHHHJFFFFLLLOOOOOWWWWEEEERRRRR R!"

The Spaniard and the Italian stood stock still, Lovino's arms around Antonio's neck, Antonio carrying Lovino bridal style, both watching with open mouths as Gilbert Beilschmidt ran past them at full tilt, arms spread out wide and screaming hysterically, wearing nothing except a pink fluffy tutu.

Then as soon as he appeared, he was gone, crashing through the bush on the other side leaving Antonio and Lovino staring at where he had been, mouths agape.

"What. The actual. Fuck."

Antonio merely shook his head. "I don't even know..."

* * *

Back in civilisation, chaos had ensued. All the students (bar Lovino, Antonio and Gilbert) had gathered around the school bus, and were yelling at each other profusely. Apparently they had all seen Gilbert and his maniatutu glory, and were now trying to work out who to blame.

"It was Feliks!"

"Hey! It wasn't me! I was, like, nowhere near him."

"But he was wearing a pink tutu! Clearly it was you who made him go crazy!"

Feliks scowled, "No, I totally did not want him to wear that. Pink is totes hipster, but tutus are so not in." he raised his voice, "Obviously it was Arthur. Him and his scones and junk."

"What!? This has Francis written all over it!"

"Why would I want him in a tutu? I have no magic and I can tell you that transformation was not natural! It was creepy and Ivan is to blame."

"Why me?" Ivan smiled at Francis, who let out a shriek, "I don't like Gilbert, but why would I want him exposed like this?"

"Because you don't like him."

"It was Alfred. I saw him poison Gilbert's drink..."

"It was Fane. He must've bit him-"

"Fane isn't really a vampire, you wanker!"

"Elizaveta hit too hard with her frying pan!"

"Roderich's piano playing drove him mad,"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY PIANO PLAYING-"

"Everybody _shut up!_" Matthew yelled, red in the face and shaking. However, nobody paid him any attention and carried on arguing. But Matthew was fed up with being invisible, that kid who was always there, but no one ever listened to. "We can't help Gil by accusing each other like idiots! Oh for God's sake..."

"Good try bro. Ka pai," came a soft, strangely accented voice from Mattie's elbow. Matthew turned, and stared at the speaker, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to place the small blonde teen.

"Uh... Thanks?" Mattie said, feeling a little confused.

"Welcome," said the other. "Anytime. Those idiots need to be put in their place."

"But it didn't work. No one ever listens to me." Sighed Mattie, hugging Kumajiro to his chest and fiddling with his glasses. He couldn't quite work out why the other youth was talking to him so idly. He wasn't very interesting, after all. The only person who really showed any genuine interest in him was Gilbert, and nobody can be bothered to help him.

"I'm listening to you," the stranger said, patting Matthew on the shoulder. "Why don't the others?"

"Eh?" Mattie jerked out of his train of thought. "Oh, they all mistake me for Alfred, or think I'm too quiet." Matthew replied bitterly. To his surprise, the other laughed a little at this, twirling a thick curl on the side of their head.

"Oh, I get that all the time. Everyone thinks I'm from Australia, like my mate Oz."

"So where are you from...?"

"Aotearoa, Land of the Long White Cloud. Also known as New Zealand. You can call me Kiwi by the way,"

"Matthew," said Matthew, shaking the proffered hand and smiling up at his new friend.

"So," Kiwi said, "you want to help your friend Gilbert, right?"

"Y-yes..."

"Sweet as bro!" Proclaimed Kiwi, grinning widely. "Let's go!" Kiwi grabbed Matthew's wrist and started to drag him through the trees behind him with ease.

"What are you going to do?" Asked Mattie, jogging to keep up with his new friend.

"To find someone to take that spell off that Prussian!"

_A/N: Um. Well. What can we say. Suddenly this story has turned into a crappily written crack fic. There is a story behind Maniatutu BTW. I didn't just randomly come up with it on the spot!_

_So one day I was on this incredibly long road trip, and I was texting Alphabet while staring out the window. My eyes alighted upon a street name, which was: MANIATUTU. Boom, sudden vision of Prussia running through the bush wearing a tutu and screaming randomly. So naturally, I told Alpha but we forgot about it until one day we were brainstorming ideas about what will happen in this fic, and a good friend of ours suggested a school trip into an uncharted area of bush. And then I remembered... _

**Maniatutu is actually the best. **_Totes bro._** Finally some PruAus. **_I hope it was OK. Sorry for the PruCan again... The flow demanded it. _**Sure. The flow. **_Why do you doubt me in this way? _**Because. But the flow keeps taking me to PruSwiss and now AusCan. I don't understand. **_Read this people. She actually wrote this:_

"The flow demands it." sobbed Roderich before turning to Matthew, "YOU are my true love. My piano..."

Matthew coughed awkwardly, "How did you know?"

Roderich caressed Matthew's face, "I just know."

**Us thinking that New Zealand and Canada would get along isn't solely based on the fact that they are "overshadowed by their brothers" (which I think is a totally stupid reason to make them friends. **_Sorry._**) New Zealand and Canada actually have good relations! (Google it. I am trusting Wikipedia) **_So we have headcanon that they are really good friends. We have more reasoning than that, but this A/N is long enough already. Also, apologies if NZ seems a bit bipolar. I have no idea how to write my own country. *bangs head on table*_

_Ka Pai- Well done, good job_

_Pakeaha- white person_

_So... No flames please...?_


	14. Chapter 14

While the rest of the students continued to argue, Lukas took the opportunity to slip away unnoticed. What happened to Gilbert was none of his concern in his opinion, which was why he practically bit Mathias's head off when he caught up with him and started bugging him about taking the curse off his friend.

"No. It's his fault for not reading your label."

"Norge! You can't just leave Gil to run around in a tutu all day! Sure, it's funny, but everyone is getting really freaked,"

"That is not my problem."

"Would you do it if it was _me _running around in a tutu out of my mind?" Mathias grabbed Lukas's forearm and swung him around to face him, eyes blazing bright as they met Lukas's own pools of indigo. For a moment, their gazes locked, until Mathias's looked away in sudden understanding.

"Hold up. Just hold up for a second-" Started Mathias, but he was interrupted by some newcomers running to catch up with them.

"Lukas, Mathias, wait for us!"

They turned around to see three familiar figures, all with similar expressions of confusion, accusation and resignation on their faces. Well, all except the tallest figure, who, as was expected, was entirely impassive.

"Brother, what the _hell _did you do?" Asked Emil, glaring at Lukas and standing on tiptoes so they was face to face, arms crossed.

"Hey hey Norge, did you hear that? He called ya-"

"I am not to be held responsible for this," said Lukas, one hand rendering Mathias speechless by his tie, which for some reason he keeps insisting on wearing. "Gilbert's actions were entirely his own. I have no reason to help him."

Tino butted in, eyes concerned as he stood next to Emil. "Look Lukas, its chaos out there!"

Lukas raised an eyebrow. "Enlighten me."

"Well, for one thing everyone has seemed to have reached a mutual agreement that Arthur must've force fed Gilbert some of his scones."

"Reasonable."

"As a result, that Australian guy is now throwing up some new type of life form because Arthur decided to prove that his cooking was edible." Finished Emil, calmly checking his cell phone for reception. His best friend, Xiang, had filmed had the incident and promised to send him the video. "Look, I know that Arthur is your friend, so can you please listen to us for once and fix this before you get an angry mob on your hands?"

"Let me see..." Pondered Lukas, tapping his chin sarcastically. "Uh... No."

Mathias opened his mouth to reply, but he was cut off by another scream. "Looks like Gilbert's coming back!" He cried, spinning around and moving into a defensive position in order to protect Lukas. "Everybody move move MOVE!"

Together, the Nordics sprinted back towards the bus, Mathias bringing up the rear, egging Emil on and glancing behind him all the while. Gilbert had obviously done a full circuit of the area, and was now returning to base. However, Mathias wasn't sure who to be more worried about, the gathering of distressed teenagers or Gilbert himself.

"Mathias, come on!" Mathias looked up to see Lukas beckoning to him frantically, a worried expression on his face. "I don't know what Gilbert is capable of at this stage, the spell must've matured over time while in the bottle, because Gilbert is reacting to it very strongly!"

"No fucking kidding!" Mathias yelled back, almost cannoning into the smaller boy as he

picked up his pace. "Why don't you just take the fucking spell off him for God's sake?"

Lukas frantically searched Mathias's face, as if trying to find a suitable answer hidden

in his bright blue eyes. Finally he looked down at his shoes and muttered; "I- I don't know how."

Mathias stared at him in disbelief. "_You _don't know how? But Norge, you're brilliant at magic! I mean, you created this curse!"

Lukas looked away once more, refusing to meet Mathias' gaze. By now they had

stopped running, and were standing face to face on the outskirts of the bush. The raised voices of their classmates could be faintly heard through the trees, but all Lukas could hear was Mathias's heavy breathing as waited for his answer.

"This curse was never supposed to turn out like that. I stuffed it up." Lukas finally replied, breathing out heavily.

Mathias blinked. "What was the curse supposed to do?" He asked curiously, trying to catch Lukas's eye, but Lukas was staring determinedly at the ground. "Norge?" He lifted Lukas's chin and met his gaze fiercely. Lukas slapped his hand away and folded his arms, but Mathias was persistent.

"It… It…"

"Yeah?'

"It… It was a love charm, OK? Are you happy now? I tried to put a stupid love charm in your hair gel but I completely stuffed it up and it didn't work."

Mathias opened his mouth to speak, looking shell shocked, but Lukas cut him off.

"And now it turns out that the spell must've matured over time, or gone off or something, so that brainless idiot of a German is running around, out of his mind and in a tutu for some reason, and I don't know how to stop it."

"Norge-"

"And if I tell everyone I can't do it then everyone will say that I am a shitty necromancer. And if I tell them the truth about the spell then everyone will know about how I feel about you and that would be disastrous. Do you see now? Do you see why I can't help!?"

"Norge-"

"Shut up. Don't speak to me." Lukas had turned away, trying to hide his angry tears which were welling up and threatening to spill down his cheeks. Mathias was shocked to see him like this, normally his faquade never slipped; the emotionless mask which he always wore had never been removed, for Lukas had never shown his true emotions to anyone before. And now it looked like everything he had been keeping hidden inside all this time was spilling over the edge, and Matthias didn't know what to do.

Lukas tensed up as he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his middle and hold him gently. "Don't… Don't touch me." He said thickly, but he didn't pull away. His nose ticked as Mathias's hair brushed against it as he leant in to whisper in Lukas's ear.

"I don't think that you are a shitty necromancer," Mathias whispered gently. "You know why I think that spell went wrong?"

Lukas didn't reply, just glared at the bush directly in front of him.

"I think it was because its work had already been done. It wasn't needed." Mathias hesitated, drawing back slightly, before deciding that he had nothing to lose and met Lukas's confused gaze head on. "I was already very much in love with you."

For Mathias, that moment seemed like it stretched on forever, and he clung onto it desperately, not wanting it to progress into the part where Lukas throws him at the nearest tree. However, nothing happened of the sort.

Lukas turned around in Mathias's arms and without hesitating, grabbed the limp tufts of his hair and pulled him down in a passionate kiss. Mathias responded so enthusiastically that he lifted Lukas off his feet, holding onto him so tightly as if afraid that if he let go then he would melt away.

They were so engrossed in each other that they didn't even notice Gilbert pass them by, screaming something about carnivorous pumpkins. They didn't notice said scream being cut short with a loud clang as Gilbert ran head first into Elizaveta's frying pan. They didn't notice the two shy kids, one of them hiding behind the other and clutching a polar bear, trying to attract their attention. In fact, they didn't come to turns with the outside world until Lukas was pulled backwards out of Mathias's embrace by Arthur Kirkland.

"Sorry to break up your emotional franchise, but there a few matters I need you to attend to."

"For the last time, I don't know how to take the spell off Gilbert!" Lukas protested as he was frog marched towards the buzz of confused noise issuing out of the trees.

"I don't think that will be a problem anymore."

Lukas narrowed his eyes. "I don't follow."

Arthur sighed. "The fact is love, we don't need to worry about reversing Gilbert's original spell. Elizaveta has successfully rendered him unconscious."

Lukas's eyes widened. "You don't mean-?"

"Yes. It's back to the old fashioned method."

Mathias was looking from one to the other, very confused. "What do you mean old fashioned method?"

The two who were standing silently on the side-lines suddenly made their way over to the group. Matthew tugged on Arthur's sleeve, a hopeful expression on his face. "Do you mean you can bring Gil back to normal?"

Arthur looked down, bemused. "I thought you were having a fit behind the bus Alfred."

"I'm Matthew!"

"Ok enough of that," Said Kiwi impatiently. "Arthur, can you?"

Surprisingly, Arthur let out a low chuckle. "Oh, I can fix him alright. And it's going to be so much fun doing it, I can tell you…"

"Can someone fucking well tell me what you're going on about?" Demanded Mathias.

Lukas sighed. "Have you ever read any fairy tales Mathias?"

"Course! I practically grew up on Hans Christian Anderson."

"We're talking about fairy tales like Snow White and Cinderella," Said Arthur impatiently. "More precisely, Sleeping Beauty."

"Huh?"

Lukas rolled his eyes. "Look idiot. It's a well-known rule of old magic that there is one fool proof way of waking someone from a magic induced slumber."

"And that is waking one up with a kiss." Finished Arthur. "But not just any kiss. It must come from their one true love. Their soul mate, if you like."

"How the hell are you going to know who that is?"

Arthur shrugged. "Just getting everyone to snog the albino would probably do the trick."

Shocked silence followed this statement.

"Well, this is going to be an experience…"

* * *

_A/N: Ciao ciao my darlings! Long time no see eh? Sorry, school suddenly came up behind us and screamed at us to get our A into G and do work. Damn you school and other things. _**  
Tell us who you ship with Prussia! The next chapter will be brilliant concerning Prussia and his amazing skills in the romantic department.**

_Well he will be unconscious for most of it, but thats about as romantic as he gets..._

_We are nearing the end of this fic, there is only about 2 chapters left to go... ye gods Alpha, can you believe it?_

**No. And I thought you were joking when you said we should write a fic**_. Really? Well it was a joke to start off with. But hell, look where we are now! And its all thanks to you lovely readers. (Oh hell, I'm feeling nostalgic...)_

_Here. Have some crack which I wrote when I hit a block. Enjoy._

* * *

"GODAMMIT NORGE WHY ARE YOU SO PERFECT MARRY ME UUUUURGH" Sang Denmark before being impaled by Norge's fantastic death glare.

"No," Said Norway, reaching out and pulling Prussia out of thin air, "The albino is my one true love. Fuck off you pretty Dane."

"What? But... But I love Switzy!" Protested Prussia, trying to struggle out of Norway's embrace (still wearing a tutu) while Switzerland burst through the tree and fired his rifle. Finland to went pull out his own gun and stared down the barrel, licking his lips.

"If you touch my family I will end you."

* * *

_Over and out._


End file.
